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My best birthday so far was my 30th, when I held a Polish Bear Hunting evening in some woods - everyone dressed up in hunting gear, ate a Polish hunting stew round a big fire and then, armed with torches, ran out to find the foil-wrapped chocolate bears I'd hidden in the trees.

My worst so far was my first at university - my birthday was the first official day of term, so I thought there'd be loads of people there to have fun with. No, Cambridge is so posh nobody actually turns up on the first night. I got very drunk with the barman.

What extremes of birthdays have you had?

(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:07)
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This question is now closed.

They're usually ok.
Always best to start with the bad one. Slept most of my 8th birthday (had chicken pox) - don't think And had to work until 10 pm on my 26th. Bastard.

Best one - 24th was a giggle - inasmuch as watching Charlton draw and losing loads of money at the dogs can be a giggle. But the company was particularly fine and it's not always the ones where you try to do something out of the ordinary you enjoy the most, is it?
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:27, Reply)
On my 18th
we hired out a room in a local pub and had the bar open, with my parents picking up the tab later.

I later discovered that my bar bill came to more than that at Charlotte Churches 18th. Get in.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:24, Reply)
Turned 19, so decided to celebrate in the customary fashion of getting ridiculously drunk down the pub with friends. Came to closing time so we stumbled to a house nearby to continue the merriment, where we found a karaoke machine. Myself and a friend's boyfriend decided to hone our talents on said karaoke machine, when halfway through franz ferdinands take me out, the light effects on the television appear too much for my 'secret epileptic' partner and he fits like a spack attempting to dance. In my drunken haze, i looked at him, assumed he was just sleeping, and then continued on the karaoke machine as if nothing had happened.

He was sent home in an ambulance shortly after. I still maintain i was the better singer.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:22, Reply)
19th birthday
Had my 19th birthday while I was at Keele University and, by a happy coincidence, the same day there was a bash on at the student union - I don't recall what the bash was for, but some people were in fancy dress.

Anyway, I got extremely drunk and was dancing with this gorgeous blonde who was wearing nothing but a black bin liner (no idea why), and she had nothing on underneath... we were dancing very close! Cue a fun size mars bar in the front of my pants.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I woke up the next day back in my room at the halls of residence, with the hangover of the century and very little memory of the night before. I did remember the cute blonde though.

I got out of bed... and there, on the floor, was a torn and crumpled black bin liner, with holes for head & arms to go through.

No sign of any naked females. None of my clothes were missing. My solitary condom was still in my wallet. Puzzlement ensued. How could she have got back to where she lived? She must have been stark naked...

For the next few days, I spent ages trying to find out who the cute blonde was, for all I knew she was now up the duff from a fuck I didn't even remember.

Had no luck finding out who she was, or where she lived.

A few days later, one of my mates confessed... That night they had dragged me back, alone, to my room in a paralytic state, and dumped me on the bed. Then, in their evil drunken state, they came up with a great idea for a jape.. namely, to get a black bin liner and a pair of scissors...

(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:17, Reply)
natural beauty
Last year was a good 'un- hugging & licking a glacier in Iceland!
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:16, Reply)
I love birthdays!!
Best ever:
Swimming in the ocean nude in South of France on my 27th birthday - I will never forget how calm and content I felt at that point, as the sun shone and I frolicked in the clear, warm, blue water... sigh...

Worst ever:
My 21st - my long term boyfriend dumped me on the morning of my party (probably because he couldn't handle the attention I was getting, actually) but still turned up to my party like nothing had happened, ignoring the fact I was quite red eyed most of the night (and I'd thrown him the most amazing 21st a few months earlier)!!! Everyone at the party said it was the best night they had ever had... I was pretty glum most of it. Prick - still hate him to this day for that very reason.. and he knows it...
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:12, Reply)
For my 40th.......
....my wonderful new wife of 6 weeks organized a bit of a do at the pub we all meet at and invited a stack of me mates along, and to get me out the house said she had got tickets for us and a couple of others for the Human League at Newcastle city hall. So off we troop to the Toon to do a bit of stuff and have a bite to eat, her stalling now and then so that we'd get there at the right time so that everybody would be there and ready for us, with me completely oblivious to this. Antway, we'd arranged to meet the others coming to see the League at the pub so that everyone could jump out of cupboards and stuff, surpriiiiise and all that. So whilst Mrs.TP goes to the bar and I went upstairs to find the others before she could stop me. The room was all decked out with balloons and streamers and a "Happy 40th Birthday Dave"( my real name) banner on the wall, so I thought "oh well, we can't go up there, there's a private do on". Back I go to the bar to tell her we'll have to stay downstairs, the upstairs bit is reserved for someones party, whereupon she gives me a bit of a "yeah very funny" look. "No seriously, there's balloons and stuff....". Not once did it dawn on me that the 40th and Dave and the birthday might have been me!! Eventually it sunk in and it was splendid, but if one of my mates was that stupid I'd have had him put down by now,

I am such a thick gimptwat sometimes I despair, I really do.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:11, Reply)
My 18th was one of the best
My friends sister and her husband took us down the pub and got us well wrecked. My friend and I then went back to his and smoked a few bongs, resulting in me projectile vomiting all over the place. I ended up sleeping on his sofa at 6.30 in the evening. How we laughed.

Last year I celebrated mine on the going home day of the Reading Festival. Twas also good.

This year my friend bought me a coconut and a tin of pilchards. I almost cried with delight.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:10, Reply)
Best birthday was murder...
Worst birthday ever was my 18th. Instead of going out on the town and getting (legally) pissed all my friends were on holiday so I had to stay in with the parents, what fun!
My best birthday ever was my 21st. I had a murder mystery party and all the guest had to turn up in character, which they did and it was clear that some had clearly gone to a lot of effort. I will never forget the sight of my best friend's boyfreind appearing at the door with his hair in a middle parting, buck teeth (that he got specially made), a shirt with a gold bow tie, trackie bottoms and dress shoes. Stood staring at him for 5 minutes til I worked out who the hell he was!
Much alcohol was consumed so I'm not sure we ever did find out who the murderer was!
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:09, Reply)
My best birthday was when, on the stroke of midnight,
I became the last of my friends to turn 21. We were all sitting at the bar in the Hard Rock Cafe at Universal Studios at the time, having just had an hour-long argument with the really strict pissy barman (who was sticking to his guns and refusing to serve me anything other than Cokes without showing ID). I whipped out my now-valuable passport at one minute past twelve, and grinned at him - he burst out laughing and proceeded to pour free shots down my neck for the rest of the night. Top stuff. :)

My worst was spent at uni, shitting blood and mucus into a washing-up bowl after eating some ropey takeaway chicken a few days before and contracting the potentially deadly campylobachter bacteria (it's a variant of E-Coli, as I understand it). I was in a shared house with no lock on my ground floor bedroom door, and couldn't possibly keep going to the toilet because it was every three or four minutes and utter agony as my intestines spasmed and recoiled into excruciating knots. I was constantly terrified that someone would burst in as I was squatting naked on the carpet, gurning in pain.

To make matters worse, I'd started going out with a girl I really liked only a month before, and, it being an established but still fledgling relationship, she was doing what she thought she had to by heroically mothering me to death. She really wouldn't fuck off, wouldn't leave the bedside, and so eventually, inevitbly, I was forced to reveal to her that there was a massive stinking bucket full to the brim with vile and ghastly diseased rectum contents hidden under my bed.

In the end, my dad had to drive to Leeds to collect me and take me home. The girl and I never really saw much more of each other after I finally recovered almost a fortnight later. :(
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:07, Reply)
It's my birthday on Sunday 11th December, and this QOTW pops up now? Strange. Anyway, it's the big Two Five, so I'll be back on Monday to tell you if it was better/worse than any of the previous 24.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:01, Reply)
For my 10th birthday
my mum made me a cake in the shape of an arse.

For my 17th she made me one like a roadkill hedgehog to celebrate the fact that I was old enough to drive.

For my 18th she got one of her friends to make me a cake that looked like a pie.

I love my mummy.

(Fennbot, that was your zero-th birthday, not your first, you silly bottom. Unless your mum has some incestuous-neonatophilia fetish.)
(Waddo you silly bottom, it's not strange or spooky. There are millions of people's birthdays every fucking day.)
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 12:00, Reply)
YAY - it's my birthday party this weekend
I shall mostly be taking lots of drugs and walking the fine line between being a well-intentioned letch and a full-blown rapist.

"A beer for me. A rohypnol on the rocks for the lady"
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:58, Reply)
my 19th
my 19th was pretty good, i was at uni and at lunchtime my coursemates took me to the bar and poured shots down my neck for an hour, then we went to lectures in the afternoon (god knows why, it's not like i was sober enough to learn anything). then when i got home my housemates had bought me a litre bottle of jack daniels which i pretty much necked. then we hit the bars!

the last thing i can remember is going into a night club at 10pm... although my friends say they lost me at around 2am and that i was drinking heavily till then!

i woke up the next day alone in a strange bed with a red raw cock! apprently i'd pulled, gone back to her place and had a night of rampant drunken-monkey-sex... with absolutely no memory of it!
i lay there for what seemed like hours waiting for the girl to appear. eventually i got dressed and went down stairs, only to find i was in a house full of girls and no idea who i'd spent the night with!!
after a very awkward cup of coffee with her housemates, i was finally introduced to this 'girl'... to say that there was a bridge somewhere missing a troll would be an understatement! i pictured a group of frantic scientists running around in panic shouting things like "call security, experiment 53 has escaped!"...
i feel bad about it now, but at the time i don't think i said anything, i just grabbed my coat and ran for it.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:58, Reply)
Cake Sucks
I don't have much of a sweet tooth so last year my best mate John wandered in singing happy birthday carrying a gigantic pork pie with 26 candles stuck in it.

I instantly asked him to marry me. He said no.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:49, Reply)
Best birthday ever...
As a young lad my birthdays were normally fairly standard stuff. But on my 14th birthday, not only did I get a whole load of great pressies (a Walkman, a BMX, and four "Game & Watch" games) but I also lost my virginity... in the broom cupboard after class with my blonde 27-year-old English teacher!

My arse did hurt for weeks afterwards though...
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:42, Reply)
"When I was turning 8, my birthday wasn't so great..."
When you're young, everyone is really jealous that your birthday is in August, slap bang in the middle of the summer holidays and I must admit to laughing heartily when evil parents made their poor children actually go to school on the day of their birthday. However the downside is that everyone's parents book their sunny holidays for the summer when the kids were off.

So on my eighth birthday my parents organise a party at some leisure centre where me and ten whole friends can enjoy swimming and ice skating and baloons and cake and everyfink!!! I invite my favourite ten friends; everyone except my best friend Andrew says they can't come as they're buggering off to France/Spain/Pontins/Mars (delete as applicable). Slightly downhearted I invite my next favourite ten with pretty much the same result. It's now the week before we break up for the summer and I'm so desperate I've given invites to Stinky Stephen the smelly child who wee's himself on a regular basis and two of the teachers. On the day of my birthday, after all the ace presents are opened, I eagerly wait on my driveway for the ten (almost) specially selected guests to arrive for my day of joy and wonder. I was waiting a long time.

My birthday fun was shared by me, Andrew, Stinky Stephen and a girl whose name I didn't know then and don't know now who bore a striking resemblance to The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

It was fucking brilliant!!! Me and Andrew spent the whole day holding them under the water in the pool and then trying to run over their fingers with our ice skates. Bollocks to the cake, the best bit was making Stinky and Quasimodo kiss each other on pain of beatings. Stinky Steven got so excited quite a bit of wee came out. I never remember spending any other day of childhood laughing so much.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:36, Reply)
my 16th was the best
i was on holiday on the kenyan coast with my family, and on that day we took a trip out to a reef island where we snorkelled.
and swimming off a coral reef in tropical waters has to be one of the most incredible experiences out there.

also i got to go skuba diving for a while as well, and swam just a couple of feet above one of those amazingly deadly and beautiful lion fishes, which was rather cool.

the rest of the day was spent in the 'usual' manner: relaxing on the beach, eating mango, etc etc.

i think it'll be many a year before that birthday is beaten.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:34, Reply)
happy birthday
My boyfriend of 8 months dumped me on my birthday. Just after giving me the birthday bumps and a card. On the tube home I got elbowed in face by a fellow passenger who managed to break my contact lens while it was still in my eye. After rinsing my eye with about a million galleons of sterile water and still being able to feel a piece of lens in my eye I had to go to A&E as I had no doctor. after waiting there for ages they referred me to Moorfields Eye hospital, so part blinded I got on the tube and went there. 4 hours later they squirted orange dye into my eye and poked round the back of my eyeball with something that may or may not have been a cotton bud. Thanks to the lengthy waits I missed my own 21st birthday party.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:30, Reply)
Terrorists ruined my birthday.
I live in London. And this year for my birthday I had planned a cracking night for my friends and I... Guest lists, oodles of champagne etc etc. I put a whole lot of effort into making sure that everyone had a good time, even booking a hotel for them all to stay in (when I say hotel I mean crappy hostel with fleas).

I was SO excited about it, I've never had a bad birthday EVER. For my 18th I was in Paris, my 11th in Singapore, my 10th Bankok, and many other very memorable times.

My 20th birthday was on Friday 8th July 2005.

On the 7th July, four WANKERS decided that they thought it would be a CRACKING idea to BLOW UP MY BLOODY CITY KILLING TEN'S OF PEOPLE.

Needless to say, not many people were all that keen to come up to sunny London after that.

So thank you very much OSAMA. Among the HUNDRED THOUSAND other reasons that I HATE you, you also RUINED my birthday. You complete COCK.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:27, Reply)
1st and 21st
My worst birthday was probably my 21st which I spent in bed alternately sweating profusely from the heat, and sweating profusely from the cold. Having the flu on your birthday is no fun.

I don't really remember my best birthday, but I have seen the photos and it looks like it would have been a lot of fun. My mum decided that she'd throw me a 1st birthday party and invite round all the snotty nosed toddlers in the area. Aware that small children have a tendancy to make a bit of a mess, she came up with the ingenious idea of dumping us all in the linoleum floored kitchen with messy child food that we could eat and roll in to our hearts content, and buggering off into the carpeted living room with her friends. She might have ended up with a lot of messy one year olds, but only one was her responsibility to clean up and the kitchen floor wiped clean in an instant.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:27, Reply)
My worst birthday was easilly my 18th. It was smack bang in the middle of our final exams on the night before the second math paper. I insisted on going out anyway, but none of my friends could make it because they needed to study. I got rotten drunk all alone and then proceeded to fail maths the following day, denying myself a place in college!

My best was this year (24). I went out to a party the night before and finished drinking at 11am the following morning. Then at 1 I went into my tattooist and got four hours work done on my sholder. I then happly proceded to hit the pub once again, pull a hottie from up the country and go back for another party!

Apoligies for crapness.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:27, Reply)
My best and worst was probably my 18th
which entailed three extremely drunken and stoned nights on the trot, spending huge amounts of money, even though I got a hell of a lot of drinks bought for me.. and frolicking in the parks nearby/friends gardens/roads getting battered out of our tiny minds.

Then on the morning following the third day I had an 8 til 5 shift in a shop.

Having to tell them man you are serving fresh meat products "i'm sorry, but you'll have to get someone else to finish this serving, I need to go and be very violently sick" and then spending 20 minutes of solid chundering in the lav upstairs was one of my less graceful moments.

My 21st is yet to come.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:26, Reply)
You're over thirty?

(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:26, Reply)
penguin overlord
Second best would be sitting on a roof garden in Havana, sipping daquiris and eating lobster. But this beats it.

Worst - in Johannesburg, my boyfriend's father having insisted on having a bbq with his friends to celebrate my day, which involved a load of old-school Afrikaaners berating the new system that allows black people to do anything, barking loudly at me for my 'pethetic liberilism' as they put it, and generally being twunts*. I went off and chased chickens. And cried.

However, in my head this was not my birthday. Instead, I decided to have it a week later on a beach in Cape Town where I somehow became the Queen of Penguins, as they followed me everywhere, I swam with them and they sent their children to play with me. Odd, but true. Which ROCKED.

*I would like to point out here that not all South Africans are like this, as I am friends with several lovely ones.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:22, Reply)
My worst
My worst birthday was my 20th - I was at uni and went out drinking with friends and my girlfriend. My girlfriend dumped me, my friends accidentally (they said) left me to fall asleep slumped against a lamp post in the city centre, and I had to walk home as I had no money.

My best birthday was the following year, my 21st, when we filled the implausibly large student house we had with drunken party goers. The game of crab football (football played on all fours) that my sister organised upstairs was great fun, till we came back downstairs to find one of the chandeliers had fallen down. Yes, chandeliers. They should never have let students live in a house like that.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:19, Reply)
There a story coming
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:15, Reply)
It must be my bloody birthday, there's finally a new question!

EDIT: Chthonic, YOU organised a a bear hunt for everybody else to do the hunting on YOUR birthday? I don't think you understand this 'center of attention on your birthday' thing.

Chthonic Edit: It was fantastic fun. Everbody loved it and the loved me for it. Result :)

MORE EDIT: No, its sounds fun, much kudos. Just it should have been your friends doing the organising and you running round like a loon snaffling bears to your hearts content.

EVEN MORE EDIT: While I've got your attention, good question btw, everyone has to have at least one funny birthday story.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:14, Reply)
My best birthday
My first birthday when I popped out of my mothers vagina was quite good I suppose
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:14, Reply)
My 22nd
Creamfields 2001. Good music, good friends, good drugs, anda beautiful sunrise, as I remember. Followed by a 7 hour drive (from Liverpool to Sheffield), a near arrest in a service station (for stealing teapots and a bin) and then a k-filled afternoon, making scratching noises on sheets and creating the Pat n' Frank Butcher rap. Halcyon days indeed.
(, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 11:12, Reply)

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