In a pub not that long ago...
I had my 18th. Friends and family gathered from all around to consume large amounts of alcohol and make a fuss over moi. As more and more family arrived I got more and more wasted until I got to the point where my legs weren't working and I wished my mouth hadn't have been. Unfortunately my friend took it upon himself to play Cilla Black and try and set me up with a lass he worked with because "she liked scruffs". I wasn't quite sure whether he was complimenting me on 5 o'clock shadow or taking the piss out of my tramp like appearence but I was too bevvied to care. In she came, looking radiant as ever and I spent the next three hours trying to get into her pants COMPLETELY ignoring the family. I knew she wasn't intrested in me at all and only had eyes for one of my mates (who does have a trampish quality about him, aswell). Any chance I did have of getting my end away was quickly scuppered by my mam intruding and sniffing my glass of coke to make sure there wasn't any vodka in because she didn't want me being sick in the house. This was made worse by the fact I had told everyone that it was a double vodka and coke and I was going to be "wankered" by the end of the night. The lass looked disgusted and spent the rest of the night trying not to talk to me, I just spent the rest of it looking down her top.

Thankfully, I was saved from being the most embarrasing drunk by one of my mates who chased my Grandad around the pub and around the carpark with an inflatable guitar knocking over peoples drinks and causing mayhem along the way. Happy days.

*POP* I think that's my cherry gone.
(Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock, Tue 13 Dec 2005, 15:40, Reply)