"Violently assaulted" by a bunch of Tory boys.
A friends uncle was a mildly prominent local politician back in the day, local party chair, council leader and Lord Mayor a few times etc. A bit of a slightly racist "old school" populist career politician, but outwardly an upstanding respectable old bloke.

His son however, fell fairly far from the tree. He was the archetypal crack snorting, smack heading, drug dealing, lowlife. If it could be snorted, smoked, injected or conveniently inserted into his body he'd have a go. He successfully hid this behaviour from his parents for many years. When he found himself in hospital or the police station he'd spin a yarn about how he was just a victim or was being persecuted by people because of his fathers position and the stuck up old sod believed him for far too long.

Beaten up outside a McDonalds at 2am on a dodgy council estate? Some blokes didn't like the fact he was the Lord Mayors son. It had absolutely nothing to do with him trying to rob them of the crack he'd agreed to buy from them.

Violently attacked outside a pub and robbed of all the drugs he was trying to sell? What really happened was some Tory boys set about him because of a rude joke he told about Maggie Thatcher.

Forcefully ejected from a night club and lost a tooth when he hit the kerb? He was thrown out because the bouncer "was a unionist bastard" who was rather unhappy with his fathers policies as published in the local rag the week before. Not because he tried to do lines of coke off the bar top.

Eventually it all came out and he was disowned by his father. But not because of the lies he'd told, but because at some point he'd had a child out of wedlock. And yes, a large part of the unhappiness from his father was the fact the child was mixed race and therefore a literal "black sheep".

Happily the old man did change his mind eventually and is now involved in his grandsons life and a great deal less racist. He still doesn't speak or acknowledge the existence of his own son though, who's continued down the career path of professional George Best impersonator.
(danishbacon is haram yes?, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 2:08, 23 replies)

Thank you for sharing this deeply uninteresting third-hand ramble.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 11:12, closed)

You're welcome babes. Xx
(danishbacon is haram yes?, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 12:19, closed)

wuv oo 5eva

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 12:28, closed)

So ... this is a story about ... your friend's cousin?
That's pretty convoluted, m8.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 14:51, closed)

YOU'RE convoluted but not very pretty.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 15:10, closed)

I'm curvy and vivacious.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 15:58, closed)

Fat and inane.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 16:18, closed)

Alright, "Peter Stringfellow".

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 9:54, closed)

I wish I knew what this meant so that I could be offended.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 10:06, closed)

It's convoluted and could have been much clearer. Rambling on at 2am probably wasn't the best idea in the world.
(danishbacon is haram yes?, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 16:11, closed)

at least you told a story
there is a happy medium between calling out someone who is clearly bullshitting (although even then, who gives a fuck, if it's funny and well told) and slinging monkey faeces at everyone who tries to post something.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 19:18, closed)

Shut up, you unloved harridan.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 19:42, closed)

Stop being a cunt, there's a good boy.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 20:05, closed)

Oh look. Somebody has said something unkind to a woman

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 20:15, closed)

It was extremely complimentary by your usual standards

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 20:26, closed)

I'm losing my edge in my dotage.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 20:30, closed)

edge mess dotage YM
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 9:53, closed)

"in my YM"?
Pronoun fail.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 10:08, closed)

Shut up, Fatty.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 16:44, closed)

*wibble wobbles*

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 18:36, closed)

Well you say woman, but this is swipe you're referencing. Have you not seen the stubble on her 11 chins?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 19:00, closed)

Dr Shambolic
Wouldn't know how to stop being a cunt if he was given clear instructions in small words during his electro shock therapy sessions
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 25 Feb 2014, 10:57, closed)

NEVER!!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 20:25, closed)