Gaffer Tape..
Not Duck Tape, not Duct Tape, not Fucked Tape - it's gaffer tape. Beware inferior rip-offs.

Proper gaffer tape, holds the entire professional music businesses together. Without it, live performances simply couldn't happen. I've seen or used it to:

Hold a mic-stand together
Tape a $20 000 special effects light to a vertical brick wall when no mounting points were available.
A, frequent, use is to use gaffer tape on the stage floor to mark cue-spots. Other tapes, chalk or whatever may be scuffed off or fail. Gaffer tape never fails.
Numerous: Use gaffer tape to hem trousers, gather slack cloth and, in one lovely instance, provide uplift and a cleavage to a less-than-well-endowed backing singer.

However, the ultimate gaffer tape award goes to the genius who taped a promoters Porsche, 90 degrees to the vertical - or in layman's terms, taped the fucker to a wall. It did involve an entire crew, a forklift and, unbelievably, TWO rolls of gaffer tape, but they got it done.

Wimps. I could have done it with one roll.....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 13:50, 30 replies)

or is it gaffa tape ?

( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 13:58, closed)

We just call it "black nasty"

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 13:58, closed)

I love gaffa Tape
I love the way it rips in verticals rather than horizontal directions
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:02, closed)

Duck tape
Or I peck yer face off
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:09, closed)

I'm not calling you a liar or anything
but you didn't see a car taped to the wall.
( WormuIus, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:21, closed)

It wasn't actually a bad post up until then.
I was beginning to get a bit suspicious when you claimed to have touched a breast but I gave you the benefit of the doubt only for you to ruin it right at the end.
( WormuIus, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:29, closed)

You needn't be so worried that what actually happens to you isn't good enough.
There isn't any need to overegg the pudding with ridiculous claims.
( WormuIus, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:31, closed)

I only want the same thing that everyone else wants
Entertaining stories about things that have happened to people.
( WormuIus, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:32, closed)

Is that so wrong?

( WormuIus, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:32, closed)

WHY LEGLESS? WHY?
WHY THE LIES?
( WormuIus, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:33, closed)

STOP PICKING ON LEGLESS, HE'S ONLY GOT ONE LUNG LEFT AFTER HE SPENT THE NIGHT OUT ON THE PISS.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 15:14, closed)

I wouldn't be so certain were I you.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMcOtNwqqxQ

If it can lift a 5000 lb car, it can certainly hold one standing upright.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 15:51, closed)

That's testing the strength of the tape
not the strength of the adhesive.
( WormuIus, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 1:20, closed)

Actually, it is also testing the strength of the adhesive.
You'll note that the tape comes down the sides of the car and is stuck there, not wrapped around it and tied or anything like that. So it is in fact testing the shear strength of the adhesive as well as the tensile strength of the cloth it's made with- and it was the cloth that failed, not the adhesive.

/engineer geekery
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 12 Mar 2011, 2:29, closed)

Slinging the tape over the top of a bar and hanging a car from it is one thing
taping a car to a wall is totally different.
( WormuIus, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 17:39, closed)

It's 'rape tape'.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:26, closed)

LOL
(cheers)
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 16:25, closed)

it's actually 'jaffa cake'

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:28, closed)

fucking hell that made me laugh.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 15:30, closed)

Cheers.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:08, closed)

I went to school
with a bloke who helped out on stage for school plays and that...his school shoes were held together with black gaffa after upper separated from sole. I think they were like that for a few weeks until his mum noticed. Waterproof too, he didn't mind a jot.
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 16:30, closed)

We once lifted a mate's mini onto the top of a water tank for larks
but I'm still calling bullocks on the Porsche tale. Why have none of the "entire crew" who were apparently involved ever told this tale on the internet before? Did they all die in a tragic microphone stand incident soon afterwards?

Cheers.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:07, closed)

Oi shambo
You really need to let out this pent up aggression and stop boring people.



*Notice the tumble weed, that's when you post that is.
( Trollman, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:26, closed)

Whenever I post you or one of the other puppies is guaranteed to reply.
You pathetic prick.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 19:59, closed)

I don't understand why they hate you more than me :(

( WormuIus, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 1:22, closed)

I'm taller, more successful and better looking.
Soz.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 8:31, closed)

I completely believed your tale
until I got to the part where you've read the whole internet.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:24, closed)

If only somebody had invented google.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 20:04, closed)

I should really get around to that.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 20:57, closed)

I reckon there's a bob or two to be earned from that sort of innovation.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 21:22, closed)