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If you can't fix it with a hammer and a roll of duck tape, it's not worth fixing at all, my old mate said minutes before that nasty business with the hammer and a roll of duck tape. Tell us of McGyver-like repairs and whether they were a brilliant success or a health and safety nightmare.

(, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:58)
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My first Tranny van was an old diesel minibus, which came in very useful for a family of 6.
It came with all sorts of built-in bodges including a specially-built metal shelf to hold an aircraft battery. (When this battery, which needed two men to lift it, failed I left it on the doorstep and it was stolen, presumably by two chavvies with their own trusses.)

The ancient battery contacts were tightened to the maximum. They used to loosen and fly off under the pressure of the vibrations from the mighty York engine at startup. When this happened I'd send the kids to the nearest shop to buy Kitkats, which they'd eat while I wrapped the foil round the battery contacts for a snug fit.

Soon after I met the current Mr Quar, he bought his first diesel vehicle - a satisfyingly battered Bluebird. One night, as he started it, it did The Thing that they do and stopped dead.
I said 'Oh, that'll be the battery contact - I'll just pop back in for some kitchen foil so we can fix it!'

Sceptical at first, he was amazed when he lifted the bonnet and saw that I was right. When I bodged it with the foil he thought it must be ye witche crafte.

A couple of years ago I was in a multi-storey car park, about to pull out, when a car opposite mine suddenly stopped as it pulled out. Aha! I thought, and strolled over.

The young driver tried a few times to restart, then got out. Yes, it was a diesel - a newish, still shiny one - and yes, when we popped the bonnet we found a battery contact swinging loose. I sent him off to purchase foil-wrapped confectionery and went on my way. Haven't lost my touch!
(, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 19:07, 14 replies)
I'm impressed that you are secure enough to admit you have a Tranny van.
Are they for picking them up or simply driving them around?
(, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 19:56, closed)
Be ready at 8:30
and wear that nice little black satin number.
(, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 21:23, closed)
Trannys are awesome
I got one that I've converted into a camper- great for taking loads of friends to gig too :)
(, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 23:03, closed)
Fantastic work there
How I envy you. If I brought any kind of van home these days Mr Quar would hit the roof.

Is yours a long or short wheelbase Tran? Ny brother converted a long wheelbase former ambulance Tranny for family holidays and we all had great fun together.
I made curtains for his, and his dog chewed them up, so I made the whole set over again. Good times.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 7:57, closed)
I'm pretty sure it's a medium wheel base
My mum's friend made curtains for me- in artic camoflauge. It fits in with the light blue really (its an ex- British Gas van). Took it round Europe in summer 2009- hooked up a hummock in the back whilst going up the Pyranees mountains- friend was driving at that point. Was woken up by the van hitting me in the face after a hairpin bend. It may not be fast (top speed 75mph), but I love it to bits :)
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 1:25, closed)

..and now most confectionery comes with plastic foil!! Sandpaper, and adjusting the battery clamp with screwdriver and an 'ammer still works though!!
(, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 20:27, closed)
Yup, we mourned the passing of the traditional foil chocolate wrapping.
Dairy Milk was good but the foil was thinner than the KitKat sort.

Anyway, what do you mean, sandpaper, screwdrivers and hammers? Like proper maintenance? What fun is that?
(, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 21:22, closed)
handy tip
multipacks of two fingered kit kats still have foil on the bars
(, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 21:36, closed)
How very kind!
I'll keep that in mind! Unfortunately you can't stock up in advance as chocolate kept in cars doesn't stay at its best.

S'pose one could just keep a piece of foil handy, or even check and tighten the terminals regularly but again, where's the fun in that?
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 7:54, closed)
I've had several diesel cars over the years
and have never come across this type of fault before.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 9:58, closed)
Mr Quar was right
She's a witch but her sole power is the ability to loosen battery terminals so she can save the day using nothing but confectionery.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:13, closed)
It's usually older, more poorly maintained ones
and yes, I am a witch. Don't make me be having to loosen your terminals, now.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:06, closed)
My first Tranny
was called Gerald.

Oh, wait, did I say that out loud?
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 10:05, closed)
yes you did.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 14:14, closed)

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