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This is a question Body Horror

Mictoboy writes, "I once picked a spot on my cheek only for a half-inch long ingrown hair to coil out covered in pus."

How has your own body made you recoil in disgust?

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:02)
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Not so long back,
I was having a wank and just as I tipped my filthy concrete, it came out quite slow and seemed extra gelatinous and reminded me somewhat of expanding foam when you release the trigger and some still oozes out.
But this just kept coming out, I noticed it had become fibrous before I realised I actually had a small length of twine down my hog's eye.
What the shuddering fuck? Back when I was a young teen when I would try anything to see if it got me off, did I shove some string down there for reasons unknown?

I began to pull on the string, there seemed to be more than I thought, a couple of centimetres turned into six inches which turned into a couple of feet before to my incredible, almost debilitating incredulity the string was attached to something red. I began pulling. It was what appeared to be a red hankie, but wait, it was knotted to a green hankie. I kept pulling; blue, yellow, red, orange. It went on. After a good dozen cock-snot trimmed handkerchiefs, and my hands covered in a web like lattice of man-silk, the coloured cloths were again bound something more stringlike.

This was confusing more than anything. My only conclusion was that I had a split personality and the Hyde to my Jekyll seemed to be a horrific and disturbing children's entertainer. Whoever was booking me to perform at somebody's 9th birthday party was clearly not right in the head.

I kept pulling, but there was some resistance. I pulled harder. Something was attached to the other end and was refusing to budge. I yanked really hard and I felt something enter the bottom of my urethra. I pulled hard and with imagery reminiscent of that scene in Total Recall where he removes that tracking device from his nose, out popped my testicles.

I collapsed to the floor in a pool of sweat. I couldn't get them back in, so my only recourse was make a small desk toy out of it. It's certainly a talking point in the office I can tell you.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 14:48, 16 replies)
(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 15:05, closed)
... and then you fought Vader over an implausibly large hole?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 15:12, closed)

my testicles
(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 15:51, closed)
Chuck Norris?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:02, closed)

You had me at "tipped my filthy concrete".

(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:52, closed)
This has made my dingle go all fat and hot and funny.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:18, closed)
Likin' this.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:23, closed)
This has gotta be the one

(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:29, closed)
Alright SLVA, have you still got that screencap of the man who's penis turned into a turnip?

(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 18:45, closed)
I hope so.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 18:50, closed)
I might have.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 18:53, closed)
Link dat shit up, yo.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 19:04, closed)
Actually no,
I cannot find it anywhere.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 19:33, closed)
You fucking cunt. You're even worse than that fat Auusie bloke who's not having an online breakdown.

(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 19:49, closed)
No, AB.
No he's not.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 22:39, closed)
definitely my favourite sin.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:18, closed)

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