A few years ago
a friend of mine suggested that I should read Birdsong, by Sebastian Faulks, I didn't really think it would be my cup of tea, but read it anyway.

It's about a guy who was 21, I was 21 at the time of reading. He has an affair with a married woman, I was having an affair with a married woman at the time, called Janice. In the book the affair ends badly, and the main character never recovers. I remember the last line of the chapter where she leaves, 'Stephen felt cold.' reading that hit me like a cold, bitter punch in the gut.
My affair with Janice had ended just as badly, not long before I read the book, and it took me years to move on.

If I re-read that book now, I'd hate that poncey, emo bell-end, Faulks and wouldn't even be able to recognise the feelings that the book had originally stirred.

So, up yours Janice, and Seb, you twats.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:35, 28 replies)

Sexmonkey
...are you Chandler?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:36, closed)

I couldn't be any less like Chandler.
Though I've got a similar haircut.

Janice didn't have an annoying voice like that one from Friends.

EDIT do you want to know how I got over her in the end....?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:38, closed)

Go on...
tell
(Errorist, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:41, closed)

...
You killed her, didn't you?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:41, closed)

Dya shag her sister/mum/cousin/best friend?
usually does the trick.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:42, closed)

Did you
have sex with loads of anonymous monkeys?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:43, closed)

Did you
tie her to a railway line and laugh manically whilst lighting a cartoon style bomb?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:44, closed)

Is it why
you turned your attention to monkeys?
(Errorist, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:44, closed)

Did you
go and have a wank whilst bungee jumping?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:44, closed)

Did you
join B3ta and meet a load of amazingly cool people who talked about both rude things and important things, often in the same sentence?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:45, closed)

Did you
move to Newcastle and wear a vest, whether it was cold or not?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:46, closed)

Did you
just "pull your self together man!"?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:46, closed)

Did you
move to australia and go snorkelling only to have an unfortunate accident involving a dolphin?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:47, closed)

Nah, it's too personal.
I might post it if a 'So, you've been branded a serial killer?' QOTW ever comes up.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:47, closed)

oh
bum
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:48, closed)

Add a question mark to that 'bum'
and meet me under the stairs.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:50, closed)

bum?
*wanders under some stairs*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:50, closed)

*bums*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:52, closed)

*dances with joy*
*cleans himself up*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:57, closed)

*Hands out Battenburg cake*
*Brought over from another thread.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 16 May 2008, 16:05, closed)

Mmmmm, Battenburg
Hi Chickenlady, how's things?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 16:06, closed)

Oi
I will not have my battenburg defiled.

Did you write really bad poetry?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 16 May 2008, 16:18, closed)

@ Hi Al!
Things are fine ta. I even did some work this week! And better still, my editor actually liked it...so all is well with the world...and it's nearly time to jump in the car and get myself to PJM's where it's always wine o'clock.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 16 May 2008, 16:22, closed)

aaaah
have a good evening wining and canoodling (I know what you two are like)
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 16:25, closed)

@chickenlady
don't you mean "wine and cock", fnar fnar?

(Edit: that's a compliment, PJM)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 16 May 2008, 16:35, closed)

@CHCB
I can hardly see him taking offence at that!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 May 2008, 16:56, closed)

"I might post it if a 'So, you've been branded a serial killer?' QOTW ever comes up."
The stories I'd have to tell for that one...
( Cawl, Fri 16 May 2008, 18:18, closed)

Kaol
remind me to lend you my very lovely sashimi knife.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 16 May 2008, 18:21, closed)