Cluj-Napoca, Romania, 1993.
There ostensibly to teach, the amount by which we'd misunderestimated the economy in saving some pocket money meant we were among the richest people in the city.

Thus, quite a lot of our time was spent drinking heavily.

One night about two months in, we'd decided to go to a pub with pool tables that we'd heard about, which, we discovered, had a decent-sized pond in front of it.

It being the middle of winter, the pond was completely frozen, and some kids had smoothed a long patch of ice, and were taking it in turns to run and slide along it.

On leaving the pub much later in the evening, and with the kids gone, it seemed the obvious chance for us to have a crack.

My malcoordinated friend went first, and unsurprisingly stacked it and lay across the smooth path, gibbering like a twat.

"Get up, you prick, it's my turn." I said, which he ignored, so I ran, slid, did a perfect jump over him, and carried on sliding. I truly am awesome.

I did this a couple more times, with him just lying there, like a twat.

"Come on, you silly arse" I said, going over to him, "You'll catch cold."

He just lay there.

Then I noticed a lump the size of a pool ball on the side of his head. He had knocked himself absolutely cold.

Oh crap.

I tried to haul him off the ice, but the fat fuck weighed nearly as much as your mum.

Shit.

"Er ... help?!" I called out to some passers-by, who also ignored me - probably because it looked like the archetype of a mugging set-up.

After a while a braver guy came and helped, and we managed to get my mate to vaguely come 'round, off the pond, and sit on a bench, where he sat, very, very dazed.

"So ... what happened ... ?" he asked, groggily.

"Well - we were skating on the pond, you slipped over, and smacked yourself clean unconscious." I said.

"Pond ... ?" he asked.

"Yeah ... outside the pool pub."

"Pool pub?"

"Yeah. You know?"

"Pool pub where?"

"Er ... Cluj?"

"Cluj ... ?"

"Yeah. You know? Romania?"

"Romania?!" he said, frightened.

"Er ... yeah ..." I said, not knowing quite how to field such.

After a while, he enquired, "So ... what happened?"

"You fell over. On the pond."

"What pond?" he said.

"The one opposite the pool pub."

"Pool pub?"

"Yes. In Cluj. We're in Romania."

"Romania?!" he said, frightened.

Rinse.

Repeat.

It took me two hours to get him back to his place and deliver him to the family he was staying with - he seemed to remember the way, thankfully, as I hadn't a clue.

He still wasn't right when we flew back a month later.

tl;dr man falls over, gets concussion.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 11:33, 10 replies)

Thank god you didn't think to get professional medical advice, imagine how embarrassed he would have been.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 11:50, closed)

It was only a bump on the head.
He's mostly alright now, and has hardly killed anybody.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 11:52, closed)

I've DJed in Cluj.
Worst food I have ever eaten in my life, fact fans.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 11:53, closed)

Does that include your mum's cock?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 11:55, closed)

My mum's cock is delicious you IDIOT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 12:08, closed)

I heard it tastes like chicken.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 12:12, closed)

Well, it is fowl.
(mark schmark, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 12:14, closed)

That's eggshellent.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 12:31, closed)

Vag,
you are a far better dog owner than you are a friend.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 26 Mar 2013, 21:02, closed)

a dog owner you are a friend everyone else.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 12:25, closed)