Wardrobe Malfunction
VERY annoying phrase but points up an interesting gulph between us and the merkins in our attitudes to boobies. Janet Jackson shows about a second's worth of nipple during the Superbowl jamboree when *horror* children might be watching and the press and much of the public went nuts! Over here you'd definitely have to show some gash at teatime to get anything close to that kind of furore going. I wonder ...why?

On a different note, is anyone here on B3ta really into tit-wanks? They don't do much for me. I mean, they're nice obviously but I can't ejaculate off one. Much prefer blowjobs. I used to have a girlfriend with no gag-reflex. You could practically shoot your load into her lungs.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 10 May 2010, 14:15, 16 replies)

The wikipedia article on titwanks is highly entertaining.
(herefromthere, Mon 10 May 2010, 14:30, closed)

Interesting gulf ay?
Ay? Ay? Gulf ay? Phwooar, say no more.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 10 May 2010, 14:39, closed)

Should have said divide
Would have neatly side-stepped embarrassing spelling mistake and invitations for Carry-On up the QOTW style double-entendres.

I shall read the article on titwanks then later on this evening I shall request one from my wife and report back. Although I must confess we have all the libido of giant pandas at the moment so we may not pull it off. Ape Loverage, over to you...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 10 May 2010, 15:02, closed)

could practically shoot your load into her lungs
beautiful
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 10 May 2010, 14:54, closed)

That is lovely, isn't it?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 10 May 2010, 15:05, closed)

Over here you'd definitely have to show some gash at teatime to get anything close to that kind of furore going. I wonder ...why?
Loads of them are religious nuts and the sacred booby can only be viewed after ten o'clock on Sundays in the safety of your own home but only with a blindfold and oven gloves on. On the other hand they have the largest and most sophisticated porn industries in the world....What a land of contrasts.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 10 May 2010, 15:26, closed)

And heaven forbid children be exposed to breasts

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 10 May 2010, 16:25, closed)

I am glad someone
has thought about the dear children ;)
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:54, closed)

In reply to your tag, Broken Arrow...
Shaow me shome of it!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 10 May 2010, 16:43, closed)

hehe!
I wish, had to get rid of it all when Mrs Arrow found it. She gets jealous of the porn stars :\ wimmin eh?
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:53, closed)

A good titwank requires lube or a soaping-up
otherwise they can chafe a bit
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 10 May 2010, 16:26, closed)

Yeah but
there's never enough pressure to bring me off. I think I need to use prit-stick rather than lube so that my cock stays in one place whilst her breasts move the outer skin up and down in a satisfying wanking motion.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 10 May 2010, 16:42, closed)

she has to put one arm across her chest to push them together
that works
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 10 May 2010, 17:02, closed)

Oookay.
I'll ask her to give it a go. There's not much in it for the lady though is there? Perhaps I'll just make it part of the foreplay...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 10 May 2010, 17:27, closed)

I asked my girlfriend for a tit-wank once. She said "how you going to make that feel good for me?"

I said: "Just before I cum, I'll stop punching you in the face."
(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Wed 12 May 2010, 13:38, closed)

Bad man!
Far kinder to just chloroform her.

PS God is DEFINITELY a fish. Don't be afraid to make that final leap of faith.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:25, closed)