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This is a question Brits Abroad

Union jack shorts, bulldog t-shirts, bars named after soap operas, hen parties in Malaga. Tell us about your encounters with the worst (or best) of our fair country's travelers around the world. Alternatively, tell us about your own doomed quest to find a decent cup of tea in Moscow.

(, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 13:01)
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Eh? You wha'?
My first trip to Amsterdam. Having procured weed, we didn't want to sit in the silly stoners' cafe, but instead fancied a beer in a proper pub.

We found a nice little bar, and piled in - the seven of us filled a substantial portion of it - and as I went to get the round, was instructed to ask if we could smoke in there.

"Can we smoke in here?" I asked.
"Depends" said the large barman, very cooly, rather stern.
"Er ... hash?" I enquired.
"Yeah yeah," he said levelly, "Depends - where are you from?"
"Er ... England ... ?" I said, slightly confused, "London?"
"London!" he suddenly beamed. The tension was completely gone, replaced instead almost by low camp, "Of COURSE you can smoke here! You want some munchies? I'm so sorry - I thought you were from Liverpool!"
(, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 16:27, 12 replies)
what's with all the liverpool hatred this week?

(, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 17:16, closed)
Common sense.

(, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 18:08, closed)
self-pity city

(, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:28, closed)
It's a cunt-filled hellhole.

(, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:42, closed)
that's Birkenhead your thinking of.
(, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 22:36, closed)
you'll never walk alone at night there

(, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 23:47, closed)
I found a dead scouser in a south coast town once
He was curled up under a hedge in the Winter Gardens, overdosed.

I went to get help, while my mate poked him with a stick to make sure he was really dead.
(, Thu 1 May 2014, 0:17, closed)
How did you know he was scouse if he was dead?...

Did you nick his wallet or something?
(, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:11, closed)
I lived there for five years.
It took another five for my shoulders to relax to a normal position.
People talk about the 'brilliant Scouse sense of humour.' Relentless, overbearing needling with the ever-present threat of violence in the background in case you cease nodding and smiling. If that's what you find funny, then yes, they are absolutely fucking hilarious.
(, Thu 1 May 2014, 10:20, closed)
This really happened

(, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 21:40, closed)
I'm afraid it did, Scouse.
I'm afraid it did.
(, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:30, closed)
Apologies for the the football related content, but I really hope they don't win the league.
We'll never hear the fucking end of it.
(, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:38, closed)

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