Eh? You wha'?
My first trip to Amsterdam. Having procured weed, we didn't want to sit in the silly stoners' cafe, but instead fancied a beer in a proper pub.

We found a nice little bar, and piled in - the seven of us filled a substantial portion of it - and as I went to get the round, was instructed to ask if we could smoke in there.

"Can we smoke in here?" I asked.
"Depends" said the large barman, very cooly, rather stern.
"Er ... hash?" I enquired.
"Yeah yeah," he said levelly, "Depends - where are you from?"
"Er ... England ... ?" I said, slightly confused, "London?"
"London!" he suddenly beamed. The tension was completely gone, replaced instead almost by low camp, "Of COURSE you can smoke here! You want some munchies? I'm so sorry - I thought you were from Liverpool!"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 16:27, 12 replies)

what's with all the liverpool hatred this week?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 17:16, closed)

Common sense.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 18:08, closed)

self-pity city

( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:28, closed)

It's a cunt-filled hellhole.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:42, closed)

nah
that's Birkenhead your thinking of.
(yeswehavenopasties, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 22:36, closed)

you'll never walk alone at night there

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 23:47, closed)

I found a dead scouser in a south coast town once
He was curled up under a hedge in the Winter Gardens, overdosed.

I went to get help, while my mate poked him with a stick to make sure he was really dead.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 1 May 2014, 0:17, closed)

How did you know he was scouse if he was dead?...

Did you nick his wallet or something?
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Thu 1 May 2014, 13:11, closed)

I lived there for five years.
It took another five for my shoulders to relax to a normal position.
People talk about the 'brilliant Scouse sense of humour.' Relentless, overbearing needling with the ever-present threat of violence in the background in case you cease nodding and smiling. If that's what you find funny, then yes, they are absolutely fucking hilarious.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 1 May 2014, 10:20, closed)

This really happened

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 21:40, closed)

I'm afraid it did, Scouse.
I'm afraid it did.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:30, closed)

Apologies for the the football related content, but I really hope they don't win the league.
We'll never hear the fucking end of it.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:38, closed)