Ahhh the good "B@bl@ke old boys"
5 years of pure hell. Every day, names, physical crap, stealing, threats, taunts. UGLY UGLY UGLY like a mantra in my ears.. FAT FAT FAT. "hair" "weight" the trend was to say just the one word. The teachers joined in too. The fault was mine of course, being overweight, having glasses, bad hair and an ugly name. It is 20 years on, and I've dealt with most of the phobias, aversions and issues they left me with.
For A good 17 years I believed I deserved the abusive men who I dated. The gang rape, yeh, ugly, dowdy me, I was begging for it with my loose, colourless clothing. I deserved that when he couldn't change my individuality and make me conform to what he wanted, my ex kidnapped my four beautiful daughters.
Of course I deserved that I can't bear to let me loving, wonderful boyfriend see me naked. That I walked around blind until contact lense technology gave me sight, 14 years later. To this day the thought of wearing glasses myself makes me physically sick.
The social phobias I conquered, yep, I hold my hand up to that.
That I have had anorexia and bulimia in varying combinations since I was 16. My biggest achievement was and still is, weighing less than 6 stone. I thought being the archetypal skinny, popular blonde (albeit with my usual gothic flair) would make everything okay, finally. It didn't.

Years of drugs and self-destruction, always believing what they said about how ugly and worthless I was. The bone deep slashes making my arms look tiger-striped. All brought on by myself.
In all honesty, I did in the end develop a victim mentality. I overcame that. I overcame a lot, and I work every day to beat anything that rears back up. I have a baby daughter, who is my first child if anyone asks. The lies we tell to save questions, eh?
It took me a long time to put myself back together, class of '91, but I did it. Im strong now and I might not have the big fancy career , yeh.. I couldn't cope with any more education after I left aged 15.. but I love my job, and I'm loved, I have a fearsome reputation for the work I do and I'm well known. That's enough for me.
And....I'm still true to myself, I still "look like something out of doctor who". How many of you conformed, always, too scared to leave the centre of the herd?
I changed my name, my life and my world to become to person I want to be, not the ugly little nothing you saw. I don't need validation and I don't care to even the score, you aren't worth my time. I bet the demons that drove you are with you still.

If I could say one thing to you , I'd say, it matters not one bit if someone is fat, or ugly, or blind, and "attractive" and shallow people aren't somehow "better than yew". Get a life. You all coasted thru life eh.. I fought for every. little. thing. For my life.

Success is the best revenge, and I am a success, to many people I love. Because, I am still here. You all at one point told me you wanted to see me die. Sorry lads...and ladies too, no can do.

Now.. If I can just stop with the food issues.....
Without love,
Me.
(LittleWhiteTreat, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:17, 8 replies)

This
is truly grim. I know I can't say or do anything to make it better but I think you should know I care and I want to cunt those people in the fuck for you.
With love from a total stranger.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 14 May 2009, 8:25, closed)

Thankyou hon..
in my own way Ive done that, because I am still here and I am not a victim, anymore ..it just took a long time. x
(LittleWhiteTreat, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:27, closed)

nice work
Awesome, I am full of admiration for you and how you ahve overcome this
(micmac is happy as a pig in shite, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:17, closed)

*hugs*
This is awful - yet good. As you said, you've come through some of the worst people can put you through and you're still here, still sane. You're great.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:32, closed)

*hug*
I read yours too..and the same back atcha. I posted this, hell Ive read this here site like a ghost for 5 years.. because Ive been wanting to have one chance to tell the truth. They might still lie to themselves, I doubt it registers or matters to them..but I can't cover up for them now ;)
(LittleWhiteTreat, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:38, closed)

utter bastards
what utter utter bastards, and you're right I doubt if it even registers with them. So glad you've pulled yourself through it all and have come out the other side. Another *hug* from a stranger for you and I hope everything else works out.

I would click "i like this" but it feels wrong to do so
(mr_spongmonkey, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:16, closed)

thanks you xxx
lol yeh, there needs to be a second clicky option :) thanks you xxx
(LittleWhiteTreat, Thu 14 May 2009, 17:28, closed)

These are the exact kind of cunts
that make me want to get Mr Pot to assemble me a Gattling crossbow and hunt them down, in a style similar to Kate Beckinsale in Underworld (clothes and all). If I'm ever half as strong as you, sweetie, I'll be happy x
( Maladicta, Sat 16 May 2009, 16:49, closed)