How do I avoid coming off like a patronising know it all twat?
I can't stand bullshitters and my GF is not really one for tall tales, however without knowing it she can see what she wants to see in a story. For example we are both football nerds and I bought her a nice book for Christmas regarding the subject. When she told me that one of the candidates that the Hartlepool monkey beat for the position of Hartlepool mayor was Peter Mandelson I informed her it was no doubt horseshit and after reading the text for myself found out he was just merely in attendance.

She also is one too quickly develop opinions upon extremely limited evidence as most of us are but then in her mind it will become verbatim no matter what she's presented with and when she tells me one which I know doesn't have very solid grounding I really don't know what to say...

So anyway point is when she tells me "facts" she's heard from a friend or something to do with so and so, if it has any implausibility, I can't help but voice my suspicion and find out the truth. Sometimes I'm presented with evidence that what I have heard is bollocks but sometimes it turns out she was bang on right!

So today after trawling the internet and presenting evidence on why she was talking rubbish in what I thought was a healthy debate. (Today's one was that apparently Marco Fu and Ding Junhui are both crap snooker players cos they are the worst in the game at safety shots, despite them winning multiple tournaments between them and contesting the final of what is either the 2nd or 3rd most prestigious snooker tournament in the world. Yes were nerds, but that are mostly more normal world inclusive!!!) She turned to me visibly upset and told me I was a right patronizing dickhead sometimes. It was then i became the bullshitter by claiming that I wasn't but I knew she had outed me to myself about the cunt I was being.

I love my girlfriend, she is for the main part, one amazing girl and I have a vast number of faults that are off topic that she puts up with, but our personalities clash on occasion. When she is right about such things I hold my hands up and admit she was being all truthful and normally think that's the end, neglecting the fact that I've looked something up just to see if she was telling porkies.

Can anybody answer my question in a way and hand me advice that would keep both our egos in check?
(joeystall, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 3:28, 9 replies)

I don't think there is a way
so fuck it, revel in it. If you're going to put your foot in it, go up to the waist, that's what I say.

Me and my girlfriend occasionally have similar totally-pointless-but-nonetheless-heated arguments over nothing. Sometimes you just have to put one over on them. It's healthy. and if you act like a smug prick about it, it's all the more satifying for them when they win.


which isn't often...
( PMGT -Bacon., Mon 17 Jan 2011, 3:38, closed)

Yeah good luck with that
but I wouldn't recommend it.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 7:53, closed)

You are doing the right thing
looking at yourself. You ain't going to change your GF or anyone-else for that matter. The only person you can change is yourself and the way you react to things.

A little more humility perhaps, that should fix it. Think before you open your gob. Think about others and how you can help them otherwise your ego will take over. It's worth it.

hth
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 7:47, closed)

you could try not being a patronising dickhead.
stop turning every conversation into a competition. it will lead to you being lonely and bitter in about 6 months time.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 8:26, closed)

^^
i agree with this
treat everyone not just your mrs as you yourself would wish to be treated. You will be wrong she will be wrong
but rather than turn it into a potential row or a point scoring contest laugh at each others mistakes and actually
remember being wrong in a jokey way. It works with me and my mrs anyway.

or just carry on acting like a prick, up to you really ?
(Cov Boy, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 14:09, closed)

Honestly it's not meant to be a point scoring contest, that's not what goes through my head at all, but i guess sometimes that's what it turns into. Anyway thanks for the advice people. We have had no incidences so far this week. Good stuff.
(joeystall, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 10:18, closed)

My advice is
to wonder why you need to do it in the first place.

When you say she is too quick to develop opinions on limited evidence, seems to me that's not something most people would even think about in others. It suggests you are unnecessarily critical.

I mean, if she has read that two snooker players are the worlds worst at [whatever], what exactly is the purpose of spending your time trying to prove her wrong? She just seems to be repeating someone elses opinion, at worst. You're not really even proving her wrong, just whoever wrote whatever she read.

I'm sure she could go and Google everything before she mentioned it to you, to avoid having to be confronted by you. But she doesn't do it because it's a pointless wate of time.

I can see why it would be irritating. If I was her, I'd probably eventually stop talking to you.

Summary: Let it go. Nobody really cares. We are all prone to forming quick opinions on limited evidence. If she's a physicist tasked with making sure a nuclear power station doesn't explode, she needs to be on the ball. If she's just a regular girl who happens to mention some snooker player is a crap safetly player, why does she need to be schooled?
( Not Pineapple anymore, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 10:45, closed)

It's not that she needs to be "schooled". It's just I'm gonna respond to something someone says if I think there wrong and I'm comfortable doing it. I guess your right in most respects tho
(joeystall, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 10:22, closed)

Ding Junhui
loses focus and has trouble coping with stress at times, causing him to make mistakes.
Marco Fu takes some damn stupid chances when there's an easy shot available to him.
that said, Ding played a blinder to get out of that snooker to win his 9th frame
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 16:42, closed)