Mortuary Residents
I know that most mortuary residents think they have it so bad, but I love to dick around at work. It helps that I have two bosses who hate eachother.

When no-one's dead, I sit around and surf b3ta or other websites, or work on the novel I'm writing. I close the doors to the little back office, and if anyone comes in, they have to open two doors to get to me. I hear them on the first door, so I always have time to close whatever I'm playing on.

When we have "clients" I have to make the removals, and I have been known to take over an hour to remove a body from the hospital which is exactly two blocks from the funeral home. I also get the shit jobs like digging cremation graves and witnessing burials in the small, rural cemeteries.

I once had to bury cremains in a cemetery an hour away in Pennsylvania, and my boss gave me $20 to tip the grave digger. I spent the lot on beer and when I finally got to PA, it was raining like hell and I could barely get the van into the cemetery. I didn't see anyone there, so I simply dropped the urn in the hole and kicked some dirt on it. I passed the gravedigger on the way out, gave him a thumbs-up, and then went and bought a carton of cigs (they are infinetly cheaper in PA than in New York, where I live.) To finish the day, when I got back I "forgot" to wash the hearse, and hid in the morgue to smoke, saying that I wanted to "put the finishing touches on Mrs. L--'s makeup".

My final favorite thing to do is go to the town hall to file death certificates and spend an hour chatting with the older women there. They always have the best chocolate, and now that I'm 21, we go to the bar for our lunch breaks. Great fun!
(lizbianajones, Thu 28 Apr 2005, 16:43, Reply)