Whoop whoop *shudder*
I fucking hate buzzy bollocks talk. Here are my favourites.

Clapped out old junk on eBay being described as "Vintage".

Any Caucasian teenager using a West Indian accent; especially funny in a rural hostelry in Cornwall the other day "Do you mind if I arx you for some ID?" asked the ruddy faced landlord.

My boss urging us all to "monetise" everything.

How can educated people pronounce perhaps as prehaps?

Old people that decide to pronounce words with their own unique pronunciation. My mum calls Paedos ped-a-files for fucking crying out loud. An Audi is an awe-dee and Richard Madely is mad-leee. In her defence though, she shouts "FUCKING CUNTS AND ARSEHOLES!" and not fudge when she spills a glass of white cider.

My dad calling his mobile his portable. Why is it that my dad is the only man in the Milky Way to do this?

Steve Shite on Radio 2 and his bald twat mate talking over every record that they play and then giving themselves a round of applause at the end.

Gormless wankers who will always be astonished and can't believe that the day after a bank holiday monday is a tuesday, that the middle of the week has come so quickly and on thursday that tomorrow is friday.

"Hey" instead of hi or hello.

Whoop Whoop!!!! On Facebook status updates.
(Croque Monsieur, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:29, Reply)