Windy pops
Or wind in the willows.

You know what I am talking about, don't you? If not, like me you probably hadn’t spent much time with super twee the mother from hello kitty's cutesy torture garden.

Wind are farts. Her child didn’t have the backdoor trots, he had a runny bum. Her child hadn't made one hell of a mess; he had 'Clean up time.'

But the best sorry of mothers failing to see that their child is just as filthy dirty and badly behaved as all the other kids.

For my sins, I was out shopping in a Dorothy Perkins. Waiting in the queue to pay for what ever tat I had selected, I felt a little kick on the back of my leg, I turned round to see a little boy of no more then 2 in his push chair, as I turned I uttered the words 'Whose that poking me!' trying to be funny. The little boy had wriggled/forced his way out of the pushchair's restraints and was now arching his back, pulled his penis out and was pulling back the foreskin of his penis while shouting. All I remember was saying 'Oh' and turning back round thinking 'Oh my god. Please don't phone the police I am an accidental paedophile, not a real one I didn't ask to see it'.
Within 5 seconds, mummy had said 'Now we don't do those silly things do we.'
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 12:48, 4 replies)

My, he's old for his years.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 12:50, closed)

I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:30, closed)

I think he's talking about barking spiders.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:42, closed)

Think he just wanted...
...to type up his latest fantasy.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 15:04, closed)