Paedophile
Lit., 'one who loves children'. Quite aside from the fact that I love children (most certainly not all children - most of whom are aggravating little fuckers - just those in my immediate family, and even then somewhat grudgingly) yet conspicuously fail to ram my cock into them...

Learn the correct terms. Essentially, it's the difference between natural law, and man-made law. Letching over a biologically-viable teen does not make you a paedophile. Even if it doesn't land you in the nick, it'll get you served dogshit on toast for dinner, three weeks in a row - but it does not make you a paedophile.

So, any lingering Daily Mail readers here, please take note.

A 'paedophile', in common usage, describes one whose *primary* sexual preference is for prepubesecent kids. It does not describe people whose preference is for adults, but who happen, through their own deviant and inexplicable predelications, to bone the odd kid whilst generally preferring adults. These people are perverts, predators, evil fuckers who deserve little more than two housebricks applied with extreme prejudice to their spheroids - but they're not paedophiles.

Up a notch. One who prefers pubescent humans is a hebephile. This is still, obviously, fucking wrong, but let's at least use the correct terminology for their perversions. It's no great onus on you - just a different word to scream out before kicking them into a bazillion different wetly-glistening lumps.

One more notch. One who prefers post-pubescent (but still illegal, in this country) young adults is an ephebophile, which is somewhat distinct from the previous categories in that it breaks man's law, not nature's. It'll still get you chucked into chokey - and quite rightly - but on a purely biological level, you're lusting after reproductively-viable meat - which differentiates it somewhat from the previous two categories.

I don't know why this bothers me, as it's all clearly wrong, both morally and legally - but I'd prefer pepople use the correct terms for different types of wrong, if it's not too much bother...
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 23:15, 9 replies)

You've spent a bit too long thinking about that.
remember, when you stare into the abyss......
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 1:15, closed)

Pff
Know the difference between a cosmonaut and an astronaut? Ever been into space?

Neitzche broke his mind on account of a donkey. He has nothing to say to me.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 1:17, closed)

No. No. Mmm...donkey.
I found out today that NAMBLA are apparently real. I thought South Park made them up.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 1:44, closed)

Jesus H Christmas.
*phones big mags haney*
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 2:09, closed)

Cosmonauts are more fashionable
and appear in glossy magazines :)
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 1:59, closed)

Astronauts get more action
ever heard of Cosmoglide?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 2:05, closed)

I looked into an abyss once.
It were crap.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:28, closed)

I prefer the all-encompassing term
"The Deceased"
( difficultchild, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 2:32, closed)

ephebophile
i have to admit that i only came across this term when reading the wiki entry for herbert from family guy.

”biologically viable meat”

Love it!

(the phrase as opposed to the meat)
(OTT, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 8:29, closed)

Actually you are wrong.
Someone who's primary sexual preference is for prepubescent kids is a pederast, not a paedophile.

You rightly point out that a paedophile is someone who loves kids. That would be their parents, or caring adult family and friends.

A paedophile does not, by definition, want to do sex onto kids, as they love them. A pederast wants to do sex onto kids.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 9:01, closed)

No I'm not
Check any definition of 'paedophile', in any dictionary, and you'll see what it means. Granted, it's not what it *should* mean - and I mentioned as much. Pederasty is a specific subset, referring to a relationship between a man and a much younger boy.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 9:08, closed)

At the very least you're a racist, then.
"paedophile" is to love children. Just as an Anglophile loves England, or a Francophile France.

It's not my fault the dictionary's wrong.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 9:14, closed)

and a haemophile?
Do they lie awake at night dreaming of the sweet caress of cold, hard iron?

I fully agree that the dictionary's techncially wrong in this case. Still, were I to walk into a crowded pub, and shout 'The vast majority of parents in here are PAEDOPHILES!' - I don't think people'd be forming a queue to warmly shake my hand, in thanks for acknowledging the love they hold for their offspring.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 9:25, closed)

No, no I don't imagine they would. The Great Unwashed have never really displayed a fondness for accurate etymology.
I'm surrogate-parentally fond of my nephews and neices; as so many uncles and aunts are.

I'm not sure how happy I'd be to be labelled as such, though.

But it is an interesting one.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 9:29, closed)