Things I would rather do than call a SKY callcentre again
1) Ram a rabid starving badger up my arse while Jim Davidson tells me jokes.
2) Stick my cock in a food blender while listening to Dido.
3) Watch Hollyoaks while a blind man nails my bollocks to the floor.
4) Read a Katie Price novel as 6 inch nails are driven into my head.
5) Let spiders lay eggs in my brain while Celine Dion sings "My heart will go on".

I will never deal with Sky again, instead i'll just phone somebody I dont like while they take random amounts of money from my bank account.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 14:27, 12 replies)

What happened with you and SKY?
Please share.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 14:32, closed)

It would be such a long boring rant with no punchline
To cut a long story short, I was phoning thier call centres on a weekly basis for 2-3 months because I wanted to cancel, each time it would be "yes sir, that is done" and nothing would get done and I would be charged more money.

All the usual call centre hell, waiting on hold, having to explain the situation each time I was transferred, being cut-off, staff refusing to tell me thier name or ID number so the next time I called I could say "Billy Smith No: 876346 said on date/time that this would be done".

In the end I wrote a letter of complaint and got a refund.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 14:42, closed)

Ditto
That sounds like Tiscali - I wonder if they employ the same staff
(ape_hots, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:04, closed)

You never know...
it took so long to sort out my SKY problem, they changed from Scottish call centres to Indian call centres. Both were shit.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:14, closed)

Thats awfully good...
awfully, awfully good. have a click!
( SpankyHanky, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:07, closed)

Thanks mate
I wanted to come up with 10, but thinking about SKY angered up the blood and put me off.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:11, closed)

Could you phone someone you don't know?
I could be quite obnoxious just to help things along and I'll take random amounts of money from your bank account I'm terribly skint ;)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 16:22, closed)

It would actually help that we dont know each other
because then you really wouldnt give a shit, and if you could put me on hold for 10 minutes with no explanation that would be awesome. After a couple of months could you put on an Indian accent and tell me your name is John but refuse to give me your full name or ID number so that the next time I phone I will have no evidence that I was promised a result?

This would be preferable to actually dealing with Sky.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 16:53, closed)

Quality
Help yourself to a click mate.
(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_ =o.o=, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 20:07, closed)

the colonel needs his own button
it should say "i love this". i would click that for this story.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 20:26, closed)

You are too kind Miss Swipe
There is a badger set in the field behind my house. If I ever feel the urge to deal with SKY again could you meet me with Jim Davidson and we'll tick the first thing off my list.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 10:01, closed)

jim and i were up for it
but the badger wasn't so keen. sorry!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 10:49, closed)