Recorded message hell
A couple of weeks ago I returned home from work (incidentally, where I had been cold-calling businesses all week) to find that the Internet wasn't working. I didn't care too much but my sister was deeply distressed by not being able to access Facebook for a couple of hours. I ascertained that the problem was with the ISP and after finding nothing on the recorded service message line, I telephoned them. I was greeted with a recorded message asking me to phone them from a number which isn't the landline the broadband connection goes through. I was forced to hang up and dial the 0871 number from my mobile, at a cost to me of 30p/minute.

I spent the next 20 minutes on hold, being assured of the importance of my call, interspersed with helpful reminders that I could read their online help or email them about my internet problem. Something was wrong with the On Hold music however, so I was getting broken snippets of what sounded like a remix of the Captain Pugwash themetune.

The final straw was when the landline rang and I answered it, to be greeted with "Congratulations. You have won a cruise." We're on the telephone preference service. I had a recorded message in each ear and although my initial reaction was to yell every swear word I could think of, it did make me think: we're supposedly the most intelligent species in the universe and have the most advanced powers of communication, and we spend our time listening to fucking awful recorded voices.

I paid £7.40 to my mobile company to be told by a stressed-sounding Indian woman working for an ISP (the first part of whose name rhymes with "piss") that there was a problem with about 40 exchanges in my area which should be fixed in the following couple of days.
( lrjlo, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 19:25, 3 replies)

www.saynoto0870.com
Find out proper numbers for the same line
( Lord Keeps meaning to procrastinate., Sat 5 Sep 2009, 14:40, closed)

On Hold music...
...actually wasnt fucked. Its just that the (boring bit coming up) codec that is used to break down the human voice, compress it and send it over the mobile network is designed to *only* work within the realms of the human voice. If it picks up stuff that isnt within the envelope of what it considers a human voice, it simply ditches it. Hence, call centre music cuts in and out.
(CantSleepClownsWillGetMe Likes: Turtles, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 17:31, closed)

You, sir
Have just solved a question that has been in my mind for months. THANK YOU.
(TheHBoxster is probably playing Beatles Rock Band on, Sun 6 Sep 2009, 12:21, closed)