Seems That It's Not Just Their Adverts That Annoy
This is more than ten years ago now, when I was living with the then-GF in the house we'd bought, well, mortgaged together. I picked up the phone (it rang first, obviously) and it was Safestyle, purveyors of double glazing to the too-stupid-to-say-no-before-it's-too-late-and-they're-fucked and producers of what still ranks in my top ten most annoying advertising campaigns ever in the history of the Earth.

Like so many others (but not all, I realise), this script monkey started right on into the spiel but I couldn't be arsed, so I interrupted.

ME: I'm going to have to stop you there mate - we already have double glazed windows and doors here - they were fitted before we bought the place.
SM: Ah right - they might need replacing then.
ME: All due respect there, but I'm a better judge of that than you are and they look just dandy to me.
SM: You're sure?
ME: Certain.

Script monkey paused for a moment and I thought that would be the end of it, but no. I could swear to this day I heard the lightbulb go 'ping!' over his head as he piped up again.

SM: Do you think your neighbours would be interested?

Oh, now there was a can of worms. Y'see, the GF and I had inadvertently moved into an area ruled over by some masonic knitting circle of old biddies and their hen-pecked hubbies, and they could barely stand the sight of us the moment we put the first stick of furniture in the place. Our card was surely marked since though, when the alarm was set off because I'd left a window open when I nipped out with a mate for an hour. The shrill old tuppence-ha'penny hag next-door greeted me at the doorstep on my return by calling me a pillock - no reason why that I knew of at that moment, I just had this old cunt calling me a pillock off-the-cuff. I told her in return that being a pillock was far preferable to being a shrill old tuppence-ha'penny hag. I enjoyed the look on her face immensely and she never even looked at me again. I enjoyed that too.

Anyway...

ME: The neighbours? Around here? I doubt that I could speak for them mate. {sotto voce: I couldn't even pretend to be enough of a twat for that.}

Script monkey must have been desperate as fuck, cheeky as fuck or both because he came back with this:

SM: Do you think you could pop round and ask them?

You fucking WHAT again? Christ on a bike, I couldn't even be arsed when he'd gotten started but this just snapped the twig for me.

ME: {laughing} You've got to be fucking kidding me!
SM: {hopefully} It's okay, I'll wait.
ME: Unless you're paid to wait for nothing mate, that wouldn't be a good idea. I've heard enough and I'm going now. Bye.

Cheeky, cheeky fucking fucker. Still amazes me now.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:54, 2 replies)

HMP
Give him the number for your neighbour next time HMP prison's are well interested in Double Glazing.

Have a click anyway.
(amsterdam_neild, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 9:55, closed)

I used to run all their call centres in the north


And unfortunately I only hired the cheeky ones. It was hard enough as it was with everyone hating them (with good reason) so nice people used to collapse under the abuse. Haven't posted this week as most of it was illegal. Especially the using the internal courier service to ship elements of your username round to various desperate salesmen(twas the only way to get them into the house half the time)
(stuwads, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 10:00, closed)