Vodafone
As a rule, I'm quite happy with Vodafone, I don't normally get cold-calls and when I do, I say I'm not interested, and they leave me in peace. However one woman must have needed a few more sales.

Me: Hello?
Vodafone Lady: Hello, I'm calling today to tell you we can save you some money on Vodafone Family.
(For those of you unfamiliar with this, you have four numbers you can call for free for a few quid a month)
Me: Oh right, well-
VL: I can see from your calling records that you call the number ending 123 the most, then 456, then 789 and then 012. Do you recognise these numbers.
Me: Yes the first is my husband, the third is my brother, and the fourth is my brother-in-law. I'm not sure about the second, but I really don't call my brother or brother in law that much, it's just my husband.
VL: Yes, but the records show you call the number ending 456 frequently.
Me: (suddenly clicks) Does that start 07264 by any chance?
VL: Yes it does.
Me: That's a Manx number, I very much doubt you will give me free calls on that.
VL: Well, as part of Vodafone Family the whole of the UK-
Me: No, I mean it's an Isle of Man number and they're not part of the UK.
VL: Oh, no we can't do it with that number.
Me: So there's not much point then, really.
VL: Well, with Vodafone Family, you can nominate these top four numbers-
Me: But one of them's a Manx number, which you've just said you can't put on that.
VL: But you can use the top four numbers you call...
Me: (Hits head on desk)

This went one for ages. I have cut it to spare you as it's already pretty boring. In the end I had to tell her no three times before I could get her off the phone. The last was a very patience-strained:
'I am not going to take this deal. Please go, before I end up putting the phone down.' before she finally got the message.

Length? 82 Miles from Liverpool.
( VandenPlas can't think of anything clever - no change there!, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 11:55, 2 replies)

Haha, I had that problem
I said no, he seemed to be OK with it. 10 minutes later, I got a message saying 'thanks for signing up to Vodafone Family, your numbers will be activated shortly' or something.

A quick complaint sorted that out
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:53, closed)

Like yourself,
I've been with Vodafone for years with no problems.

But a couple of months ago they tried to flog me mobile broadband.
I explained to the guy that I had wireless at home, and I never take the laptop out anywhere, so there was no point.

He continued for five minutes at least, of me saying "but there's no point/need" before I said I had to go.

I know they are only doing a job, and that guy probably won't eat for a week because of me, but really...
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 15:50, closed)