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This is a question Things you can't unsee...

The Eightball Says Yes wimpers, "Waiting for a bus on Upper Street, Islington twenty years ago I was approached by a very old and very potty woman. She must have been 80.
"She was licking her lips salaciously and saying 'fuck me, fuck me.' She then lifted her skirt to show me her fanny. I looked, I ran, I wish I could rinse my mind out, but the image remains."

Tell us and the internet what you cannot unsee

(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 13:42)
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The following is an extract from As Time Goes Bi... The Erotic Fan Fiction
Lionel opens the front door clutching a book. He kicks the front door closed behind him. “Jean, I've got it,” he said, “The first edition. I can't believe he sold it to me.” He enters the living room. “Jean?” Where is she? He wonders. A few faint groans echo through the house. “Jean? Where are you? Are you okay?” He hurries up the stairs where the moaning and groaning intensify. Anxious, he crosses to the bedroom door. The moaning has subdued slightly, but then rises once more. Lionel pushes the door open to be greeted to Jean rubbing her thicket in an intense motion. “Oh Lionel,” groans Jean. Lionel looks away in absolute disgust. She surely hasn't been frotting herself all this time since he has been away? “Oh, Lionel, come and finish me off,” Jean said.

“Absolutely not. Just look at the state of that thing. It looks like an overgrown Wookey Hole. Disgusting.”

“You didn't complain the other night.”

“That's because I didn't see it in the darkness of night and not the darkness of hair.”

“Well, you've killed the mood so I might as well use my fuck stick to get the job done.”

Jean reaches into her top drawer and pulls out a silver phallic automatic fucking device. She then starts to arouse herself with it. “Oh stop,” demands Lionel. “Never.” Jean carries on. As Lionel turns to walk away, a thunderous clap of vomit drops out of his mouth. “You bitch,” he utters, before walking to the bathroom.
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 13:01, 7 replies)
With a bit of luck, most people here will be too young to have bothered watching As Time Goes By,
and thus unable to put meaningful visuals to your story.
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 13:08, closed)
they did a Christmas special back in 05 I think
this was cut from the episode
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 13:15, closed)

(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 13:17, closed)

(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 13:16, closed)

(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 13:15, closed)

(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 13:19, closed)
although this is misogynistic
it is true to Bob Larbey's vision of sitcom erotic fan fiction
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 13:43, closed)
I'll rub YOUR thicket in a minute young man!

(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 13:54, closed)
This made me feel quite ill

(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 17:48, closed)

Rock On!
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 19:02, closed)

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