The driving lesson that never was.
750 words, so in the reply as per usual.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:30, 12 replies)

Mrs Sandettie is learning to drive
and asked me to take her out for a lesson. I didn't know how well she'd handle it as our car is about double the bhp of the Corsa she was learning in. So I said we'll go somewhere quiet down a small country lane and see how she manages there.

I drove out of town and turned down a back road. (The Thirtleby to Sproatley Road if you know the area). I pulled up and shut the engine off just as it started raining. I looked out in dismay as I didn't want to get out and walk around the car seeing I only had a thin shirt on. I undid my seatbelt and without warning, she stuck her hand down the front of my jogging bottoms and started feeling me up.

"Are you not having a lesson then?" I asked, thinking 'Say no, say no, say no, say no'.

She then pulled the front of my joggers down, leant over and took me in her mouth. The windows began to steam a little, I sighed.

After about a minute she said, "this armrest is getting in the way" and sat back up. "Come on, get in the back of the car". My reluctance to get out of the car in the rain evaporated and I got out, shut the door and got in the back as did she. She pulled my joggers down again, rested her head in my lap and continued with the horatio. Free oral sex that isn't part of the precursor to intercourse is always a treat.

After a couple of minutes I heard a car approaching. My mind raced. "There's a car approaching, I hope it isn't the police" I said.

"It won't be, besides no one can see in." she said and carried on. What sounded and looked like a Range Rover (as seen through the steamy windows) went past.

I breathed a sigh of relief. A minute or so later, I heard another car approaching. Something with a large exhaust. I strained my neck to peer out of the front window and what looked like a black Subaru approached, slowed down and went past, somewhat slower than it should've done seeing as I was parked well off the road. I glanced up and saw a young couple go past. They then sped up and the growling exhaust faded away into the distance.

Within a few minutes I was approaching the Billy Mill Roundabout and it dawned on me that the napkins in the door storage were out of reach. I heard that exhaust again and felt vulnerable and exposed, even though the windows were steamed up. I was spooked and wanted to get out and get back in the front but by then, it was too late and I spluffed in her mouth. Never the swallower she actually let my man-butter run back out and it began to accumulate in my pubes. After the last spasm I pulled my joggers up and I bailed out.

As I got out the car, the black Subaru approached again and as I threw open the door it pulled up behind us in time to see me climb out of the back, and then see Mrs Sandettie's head pop up above the seat wiping her mouth. Being curled up in the back against the door meant that my back had seized. As I got out, my still rigid todger slipped down into a more perpendicular angle and that combined with my curved aching back meant that from the viewpoint of the couple in the car I was doing a fine impression of a lower-case letter 'f'. I clambered into the driver's seat but had to get out again because I had slid the seat as far forward as it would go. That 15 second performance of getting out of the back and getting into the front seemed to take forever, all the time under the scrutiny of the couple in the car. The feeling of watery spunk beginning to trickle unpleasantly down my leg only made things worse as it made me walk a bit odd.

The Subaru then crawled past, the girl in the passenger seat peering in at my missus and then at me, and then drove off again. Mrs Sandettie then got back into the front, grabbed a handful of napkins and stuffed them down my joggers.

I then drove home, wet and sticky accompanied by the occasional giggling from my passenger.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:34, closed)

This really happened.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 18:50, closed)

You're right, it did happen
I know because I was there.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 10:50, closed)

It's funny, because every single Sex Liar says this.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:24, closed)

hahahahahahahaha!!!
I LOVE posts like this that say 'I REFUSE to believe that people in normal, long term relationships have sex, occasionally in odd places!!'

Not everyone is like the fatties on /talk who, having the charisma and sexual magnetism of a bucket of piss, only ever get to shag other /talk fatties with low self esteem in a five minute squelch of embarrassment and self loathing.
( spesh., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 13:08, closed)

This probably explains the reasoning
www.b3ta.com/board/10016364

Depends on the scale on each axis.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 13:13, closed)

It's not so much that as the sweaty-handed hamfisted way the tale's being told that marks out the traditional QOTW sex lie.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 13:27, closed)

I sense an air of envy
Am I right in assuming that the closest you get to being sucked off is a bad back?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 15:32, closed)

Unless 'Air Of Envy' is Calvin Klein's latest, no.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 15:44, closed)

Yet more "Mills & Baboon" bullshit no doubt.
Fat lads with sexual fantasies, it's terrible internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 22 Apr 2010, 18:51, closed)

pfft
you're only jealous because you're not teaching someone to drive.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 10:52, closed)