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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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Pigeon of DEATH
A few years ago, I was driving my friend Alex into town in my dad's battered old golf estate. It was high summer, we had the windows down, some Led Zeppelin on the stereo... all was right with the world. Rounding a corner at about 50mph, I spied half a dozen pigeons on the road, trying to eat the tarmac or something. I was in a hurry (we were going to the pub), I was eighteen and Led Zeppelin were playing. I wasn't slowing for a pigeon. I judged they'd all get clear in any case.

Most of them got clear, but one was a fraction too slow. It bounced off the bonnet and clobbered the aerial, breaking it off. The slipstream then ensured that the aerial was sucked in through the passenger window to belt Alex in the side of the head. A fraction of a second later it was followed, beak first, by the now enraged pigeon. Somehow it managed to get in a solid peck or two at Alex's head, before leaving the same way it came in.

I nearly ploughed the car into a ditch, I was laughing so hard. It was only made better at the pub later when one girl leant over and asked "Alex... Why have you got feathers in your hair?"
(, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 0:19, closed)
Time for a new QOTW
I think we have a winner
(, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 0:47, closed)

I've just choked on my wine, that's fucking brilliant.
(, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 1:28, closed)
The thought
of begin savaged by an enraged pigeon sucked into the car has me sitting here giggling like a freshly labotomised chimp.

Great stuff.
(, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 17:29, closed)

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