I used to temp in the post room of the car parking fines office of Hammersmith & Chelsea.
Fines came in in four types: £30, £60, £90 and "Other". Lots of cheques from Deloitte & Touche (or whoever - that there posh bank what only allows rich people in).

However, among the notable surprises were a note saying "Who the fuck are you - Tony Blair's personal trained monkey?" stapled to a fine that was timed and dated "0901 01-01-99", the cheque that someone had wiped their arse on clearing out the whole post room, the cheque stapled to the ticket a hundred times making it unusable, and a fiver coming in with a note attached saying in faint, very spindly writing "I'm awfully sorry for parking in the wrong place. I was visiting the doctor for my friend Ethel. I can't afford to pay you £30 in one payment as my pension is only £40, but I can pay you £5 a week for six weeks - here is my first instalment. I hope you are happy to agree to this."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:17, 7 replies)

I want to know what happened!!

(babyaeroplanes, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:21, closed)

Really?
Is that Hammersmith & Fulham or Kensington & Chelsea? Two different boroughs you know.
( electric_goat, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 13:21, closed)

Sorry - you're right - it was Kensington & Chelsea.
Apologies.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 13:45, closed)

(fx of insane rage!)
Kensington and Chelsea parking dept are _the_ most corrupt, sneaky and downright evil sons of bitches ever to have been granted a license to steal cars.

More than once they've taken a fleet of grab lorries to a quiet street in Notting Hill (not even on their patch), declared the road an emergency "no parking zone" at midnight and hauled away every car they could grab before their right to do this expired one hour later.

Thirty or forty people wake up to find their cars missing and dutifully phone up the nick to report the theft. £160 pounds per person release fee if paid on the day +£60 per day storage fee if you couldn't get to their offices with actual cash in your hand "Sorry sir, no credit cards or cheques, cash only."

So much trouble they caused.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 14:17, closed)

Blummin hell! Fantastic!
I'm going to start telling people I used to work for The Mob!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 14:52, closed)

Sad face for Ethel's friend :-(
( awayfromthenumbers, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 13:57, closed)

What happened to Ethel's friend?

( vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 14:45, closed)