Cyclists
Obviously, I'm a driver. I appreciate this makes me a dangerous, inconsiderate dickhead to most cyclists, but it's not "most cyclists" that this post applies to.

I live in Guildford, the town's in the middle of the south Downs and has some absolutely beautiful scenery around it with the fun country lanes to go with it. I love driving and I'll happily go out and drive around on the country lanes to kill some time.

What absolutely ruins this otherwise peaceful pastime are the hordes of spandex-clad, number wearing cyclists tearing up and down the roads as if the roads belong to them. They ride out in the middle of the road, two, three or even four abreast blocking my progress. When I try to pass them they weave around all over the place and should I have the temerity to sound my horn in an effort to alert them to my presence or sometimes out of sheer frustration, I get a load of verbal and non-verbal abuse hurled at me.

It's often some sort of organised cycling rally at fault and I think they ought to be banned from public roads for the safety of all involved. Cyclists are squishy. If I should happen to hit one, I'd most likely kill them. Not to mention scratch up my car. I can't manouevre as quickly as they can, I can't brake as quickly as they can. So why do they feel the need to play this stupid game of chicken with me?
( Kroney, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 14:34, 30 replies)

You are going to get sooo flamed for this!
Head down...
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 14:43, closed)

Maybe you'd prefer it was like France where they close the roads to cars when the cyclists want to have a race. Much safer for all.
(chilling, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 14:44, closed)

There's a reason for this
Have you seen the way the French drive?
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 14:45, closed)

No
I'd prefer they stop mass meetings of cyclists endangering the roads for themselves and eveyone else.
( Kroney, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:01, closed)

There is a flaw in your trolling
in that the meeting isn't endangering themselves or others, it's the car ploughing into them that's dangerous.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:05, closed)

it's the cyclists
complete idiocy that's dangerous.
( Kroney, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:25, closed)

Sharing the world with other people who have different interests to you really fucking sucks doesn't it.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:29, closed)

people cycling on public roads, no problem
people cycling on public roads like utter cunts, wesving in front of cars, cycling two or more abreast, getting abusive when drivers get angry at them for refusing to stop being obstructive, problem.
( Kroney, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:33, closed)

Your perception is of cyclists riding like cunts
their perception is of an angry impatient car driver. You say you would like to drive your car around country lanes to kill time, they like to ride around country lanes on their bikes to kill time. The only difference is that in a car you are capable of driving faster than them. Which means any time you have to wait behind them for a safe place to overtake, you can easily make up if you are actually going somewhere, if you're not, then waiting to overtake isn't actually delaying you.

But I've gone and taken the troll bait now haven't I. I'm ashamed with myself.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:44, closed)

they, like everyone else
are supposed to follow the highway code which states that cyclists stay within however-many inches of the side of the road and cycle in single file. weaving all over the road and cycling three abreast is acting like a cunt.
( Kroney, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:50, closed)

You on the other hand
www.direct.gov.uk/en/TravelAndTransport/Highwaycode/DG_070314

should allow as much room for overtaking even one bike as you would for any other vehicle on the road. Now it's true that cyclists shouldn't cycle more than two abreast (http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/TravelAndTransport/Highwaycode/DG_069837 - rule 66), not single file, and any cyclist will tell you that you need to cycle about 1 metre off the kerb in order to avoid the terrible state of the gutters and drainage covers, as well as giving them room to swerve when they are overtaken dangerously quickly.

But my point regarding tolerance is still valid, they are simply having fun outdoors.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:55, closed)

i am well aware of what i should be doing
but on narrow country roads, if they aren't doing what they should be doing, then i can't do what i should be doing. they're the ones who could get killed, you'd think they'd play by the rules. they don't. because they're cunts.
( Kroney, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 16:02, closed)

Surely the answer is simple?
Wait until a warm sunny sunday, stick numbers on your and some friend's cars, and race as fast as possible around all the cycle lanes and tracks in town.

Fair's fair.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:12, closed)

THIS

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:43, closed)

Just carry some
bamboo canes and chuck them through the lead bikes spokes for a comical pile up.
( M o D, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:25, closed)

AND THIS.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:43, closed)

cyclists are cunts
I say that as a driver, a cyclist and a pedestrian
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:48, closed)

I find that at least 90% of people who make sweeping generalisations like having sex with donkeys.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:57, closed)

Yup,
better than rodgering cyclists. They're cunts.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 16:07, closed)

You would rather put your penis in a donkey than a vagina?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 16:09, closed)

donkey with a vagina

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 16:10, closed)

A donkess?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 16:10, closed)

I agree with this
as a driver, cyclist, pedestrian and cunt.
( Moey, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 16:49, closed)

we should start a club

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 17:34, closed)

I'm with Groucho Marx on this...

"I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member."
( Moey, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 11:36, closed)

I like to cycle
but I agree that some people are overly militant about it. I always had the mind set that things bigger than me might kill me so I did everything to stay safe and certainly not provoke confrontation.

In the states we have an anarchist group called Critical Mass that have decided that cars are evil and only people who think like they do are worth leaving on earth.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUkiyBVytRQ
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 16:37, closed)

So what I don't get is this,
When I'm cycling, (or more often on my scooter!) if someone in a car overtakes me, they leave (generally) lots of room.
But if it's a narrow road with cars parked either side, if they're coming from the opposite direction, why oh why do they think they can squeeze through a non-existant gap. Often forcing me into the cars at the side? I've figured out this is why I have carbon fibre knuckle protection on my gloves. I can verify that they don't do it again after I've taken their wing mirror off!
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 16:46, closed)

Isn't it only old people who go out for 'drives' on nice days?

(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 16:52, closed)

If 29
is old to you, then yes.
( Kroney, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 17:16, closed)

If you're only killing time,
why are you so upset about cyclists blocking your progress?

If you're in no hurry, chillax.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 22:06, closed)