Here's "caught" in another sense, because I'm feeling pissed off and rant-y
Caught? I've been caught existing by someone I'd prefer didn't know about me, and there's no escape. Unsavory types are rather fond of me... homeless people, crazy people, drug addicts, and men older than my father. Every so often I get stuck on the bus with one of these persistent characters, or he tries to follow me home, or he figures out where I live, or I'm not willing to give up my best hobby just to avoid him. It's not that I have high standards, these are just men with massive flaws. It truly sucks old lady tits to be a captive audience when one of these fellows decides I'm beautiful/charming/stylish/his future bride.

Now, this isn't me bragging about how men can't control themselves around me because I'm just that awesome. This happens to even the ugliest hunk of meat with ovaries. (Really though, ladies, am I right or am I just a massive creep magnet?)

Every time I realize it's happening, I get a feeling of dread that's about the opposite of striking the mother lode. Has a salesperson ever trapped you for a long period of time, such that you felt taken advantage of and unclean when you finally escaped their grip? It's like that, except you're also afraid he might try to rape and/or murder you. It's like they know when I'm powerless to escape, and they use the opportunity to try to get me to date or marry them.

I'll just be minding my own business walking along, and next thing I know some homeless guy is telling me that of we moved to Alabama, I'd only have to be thirteen to marry him. he followed me for a mile (while I pretended he didn't exist) before he finally got distracted by a flower.

I'll buy some food and when the sleazy older man gives me my change, he uses it as an excuse to fondle my hand.

So then I'm on the bus one day and I get trapped next to an obese man reeking of salt & vinegar chips. Side note: this experience is a mind-rape in itself. It smells like a good food, so your mouth starts watering, but then you're sickened by the fact that you're smelling a PERSON. Continuing. The fragrant obese man asks an innocuous-seeming question about the time and tells me I remind him of his sister, or whatever inappropriate relative it is this time. Five minutes later he's trying to convince me to give him my phone number while I'm debating whether I want to walk the rest of the way home on a sprained ankle.

Druggies and alcoholics are also absolutely enchanted with me. Currently an older gentleman with questionable hygiene that lives nearby has figured out that I exist, and he has been showing up at my door intoxicated far more often than I am comfortable with (if you never hear from me again, I was probably raped in some obscene manner, hacked up, and dumped in the river).

Anyway, you get the point. It's "caught" at its worst, and there's no escape. My current suitor is testing my patience to no end lately, I'm currently waiting to see if my deterrent worked last week when I had a giant gnarly man on door-opening duty for me. I swear to god, if the bastard comes back I will kick him in the balls. I will kick him in the balls, and then I'll laugh. LAUGH.

Rant complete.

I feel better now, thanks.
(Exempt OH WOW, VICODIN, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 8:12, 11 replies)

I've worked with men like this
Being a chap, I notice when men are letching around women in the office, but strangely enough not all women realise this.

If I comment on "how creepy was that?" they often reply "What? Oh he's just being friendly.". Yeah, right.

I can sympathise with you, not from experience to myself, but having seen first hand how even "normal" men treat women at times.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 8:22, closed)

I work in a sales office
and feel violated from the minute I work in the door on a Monday to the time I leave on a Friday and I'm a bloke. Would cheese and onion crisps be less mind rapey?
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 8:41, closed)

It's nothing to do with actual crisps, as I understand it;
I've suffered a similar effect working in a supermarket; there are certain customers for whom a combination of no detectable personal hygiene, combined with no detectable laundry activity, results in body odour so strong it actually stings your eyes to stand near them. At first it smells like someone's opened a bag of cheap salt and vinager crisps near you, but it can get worse as they approach; I understand the butyric acid from fermenting sweat acting as weak tear gas.

We often had to take exposed cashiers off the line for a few minutes, send them out for some fresh air until they could see properly again.

(The problem is worse in warm weather; since cold weather means less sweat to feed the problem, and forces them to layer which provides a degree of ming-baffling)
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 10:04, closed)

Oh god
I used to work in a book shop specialising in Mills & Boon (rock 'n roll!)...

The smell from some of my more elderly customers was so strong I could taste it.

Even 15 years later I can still recall the putrid taste of an elderly incontinent.

/mind bleach
( rofl harris, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 10:50, closed)

click
because I'm exactly the same. Usually not people trying to marry me, but the homeless, old people, people on buses etc always gravitate to me because they think I'll listen to them. It's a bit tragic really
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 10:25, closed)

Homeless people love me
and I'm a bloke. If ten people exit a bus, the homeless guy wants to chat to me.

Terrifying, at times.
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:46, closed)

There seems to be a type of girl this just happens to
I have two friends who attract a tide of rapey blokes of this type. Basically its what comes of being pretty but non-threatening (by which I mean unusally attractive AND a decent human being, a pretty rare combination).

I should add that I have not stalked you to establish whether this is in fact true in your case.

Yet.

*liberally applies salt and vinegar*
( Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 11:28, closed)

I'd prefer jalapeno chips right now, actually. Think you can manage?
(Exempt OH WOW, VICODIN, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 5:51, closed)

Not just girls.
When I was in my teens, about 10 years ago to be exact. I used to get letched on by women. Now this is fun for a while until they start to get a bit hands on. Dont mind a bum pinch, but when they start going for the full hands on sqeeze i get a little worried. One lady had the gall to try and have a fiddle of my gents sock, I have never been so mortified in my life. What do you say to that? Plus, yes I have had a stalker or two, again flattered but things get a little creepy, if i was not so tall (6'5) and built like a rugby player i would probs have been scared, Fact: Some women are a little Rapey and boy can they be scary.
(AmootPoint My bro is cyril sneer, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 20:15, closed)

What I have to say to that:
Gender inequalities exist. We've all heard about the injustice of a female who sleeps around being a "whore" while a man is a "player" or "stud."

Similarly, young ladies experience lechery at the hands of men, while men on the other hand can't actually be sexually assaulted by women. It jis just logically impossible, I'm sorry*.





*If you miss the joke in this, I swear to god I will find out where you live and kick you in the balls. I'm still angry and I just want to kick someone in the balls.
(Exempt OH WOW, VICODIN, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 5:51, closed)

i'm a mong magnet, too
my mate's dad is the worst. on her birthday 2 years ago, he gave her a fatherly kiss as he was leaving the pub. he leaned over to give me a kiss, which i had believed would be on the cheek.
wrong! he tried to tongue me, the dirty old fucker! with cries of "dad, stop it NOW!" my mate grabbed him off me. she told me later that he'd fancied me for a while >.<
*shudders*
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 20:58, closed)