Too soft to be a career criminal
I think i was about 7 or 8
Myself and a couple of friends were messing around in the schoolyard at morning break,
When we discovered the back door to the kitchen was open.
And on a table a tray of the biggest chocolate sponge we'd ever seen.
It must have been 2 foot by 3 and cut into squares, probably to be served with that pink custard you never saw anywhere outside of school
(WTF was that weird pink custard?)
We looked at each other, looked around and back to the sponge.
They wouldn't notice if we took all the pieces from one side would they?
Ah the innocence of youth.
So we crept in, took the cake and legged it round the back of the yard.
Unfortunately this meant we had about a dozen slabs of cake and morning break was going to end soon.
Theres only so much dry cake you can eat in a short time and we couldnt give any away, so most of it ended up being flushed down a toilet.
Spent the rest of the morning terrified that suddenly bells were going to start ringing and wild eyed snake haired dinner ladies were going to be rampaging through the school weilding knives and rolling pins, baying for blood.
So it was with great relief when the dinner bell sounded as normal and we trooped into the dining room.
Chattering, laughing, clanking the dinner trays together, all the usual school dinner time noises.
Which ground to a halt when we saw the metal grills over the serving hatches weren't open.
And the dinner ladies were all lined up in front of it, and the headmaster standing in front of them.
I had never been so terrified in all my life and looking around to check my co-conspiritors i guess they felt the same.
Kristians lip was quivering, Susan had tears in her eyes, and me, my heart was pounding and my stomach was churning.
Confused mutterings grew until the headmaster held up his hand for silence.
I cant for the life of me remember what he then said because the combination of fear and hastily consumed cake overcame me.
I barfed and blew chunks of chocolate sponge all over the dining room floor.
And I think I may even have wet myself a little
Events that followed are a little bit hazy, but I have vague memories of grassing up my friends, detention,
line writing, lack of any pudding for a week , the disdain of fellow schoolmates, specially the ones I grassed up , the dinner ladies giving me short rations and a right bollocking from parents
Schooldays, the best days of your life eh?
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 22:47, 6 replies)

Ha ha ha!
Fantastic!
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 0:34, closed)

This is awesome!
Clicky from me!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 3:54, closed)

Totally nommy
Chocolate sponge and pink custard...

I used to read lecky meters and had a school to do, the meters were through the kitchens and the dinner ladies gave me some of that chocolate gateau that you get at school once every million years and a glass of strawberry milkshake. It was almost heaven...

Click for nomstalgia
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:12, closed)

Click
This for the win, fantastic
( zulu eh?, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 20:37, closed)

Why thank you kindly :)
Actually thinking back, it wasnt all bad, some of the kids seemed quite impressed at our dastardly deed.
And also thinking back to school dinners
Does anyone else remember that bright green colesalw type stuff?
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 22:15, closed)

This
is definitely the best one I've read today. *Clickety*
(Rsoles, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 13:14, closed)