
MJPerry asks: Masturbating, stealing, making the cat dance... when did someone catch you doing something you wanted to remain secret?
( , Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:01)
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When I got home from a nice kick about in the park one Saturday in the summer, my mum was waiting for me, sat at the table, stern faced with a small item in front of her on the table.
'Sit down, you're father's on his way home. I want to ask first of all is there anything you're doing that you want to tell us about?'
Shit! I'm mentally tallying up everything that I've done as a 15 year old male. It's a bit. Nothing too bad. I'm racking my brains. Drinking? smoking? Weed? Porn!? Shit. I'll bet it's smoking. Fuck. My dad's a vigilant anti smoker...
'Ummm. No. What's up?' I said, eyeing the offending item and taking a seat opposite. Weighing up my options I considered confessing to something and hoping that was it. 'Sorry, but yes most of the phone bill was me looking at smut and wanking into a stupor' didn't seem like a good route to go down... 'let's see how this plays out' I thought.
'I was cleaning your room earlier and found this' She pushed the item towards me, still solemn faced. 'I know you've been smoking drugs, your father and I are both very upset'
Fuck, fuckety-fuck. FUCK! Anything but the weed. Smoking I'll get lectured for, but the weed will see me really fu... Hang on....
'Ermm. What do you think this is mum?'
'It's a hash pipe Scrumpy. I wasn't born yesterday.'
'You mean a kazoo mum....?'
'....... What?'
At this I picked up the 'hash pipe' and walked off, humming 'Crosstown Traffic' (If I was quicker at the time I would have gone for 'Purple Haze').
I heard my dad piss himself about 30 seconds after he came steaming through the front door...
( , Tue 8 Jun 2010, 17:16, 2 replies)

My mum came down one day enquiring what the pill was in my room. 'Whats this?' she asked, holding the offending pill in her hand.
'That's asprin, Mum.' I said, and she said 'are you sure?' and threatened to take it. 'Fine.' I said.... Mums.
( , Tue 8 Jun 2010, 17:45, closed)
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