You already know I'm a prick, so this shouldn't do my reputation any damage:
A good friend of mine was son and heir to a stately home that was open to the public.

I spent several of my summers at his "house" (estate), from the age of ten - to me it was just a big house where my mate lived - my main concern was that he had loads of really good toys, and quickly a computer game console and games.

As we came of age, we started drinking in various low establishments, and one evening we agreed that we wouldn't tell any girls we met who he really was or where he lived.

Happily we both pulled, and both girls agreed to go home with us.

We "suggested" we go into the grounds of the stately home. Giggling, the girls agreed - what a laugh that would be!

We went up the massive driveway, and right past the house! More giggles - you guys!

Then 'round to the back! The girls were now starting to go beyond laughing. This is stupid now - stop it - we'll get into trouble.

Let's try and get into the house!

Seriously - stop it - we'll be in so much shit ...

My mate "picked" the lock (with his key), went in, and "hacked" the burglar alarm dear Christ if we get caught ...

My girl and I went down an old stone corridor, to explore. The blue moonlight bathed us, as it poured through the beautiful tall windows, the flagstones cold on our socked feet, and we crept stealthily along.

I "discovered" a room full of old furniture covered in dust sheets, including a massive chaise longue.

Great sex.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 9:54, 8 replies)

star wars?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 10:25, closed)

No - true.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 12:31, closed)

If you were mates with Batman you could at least have got his autograph.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 10:46, closed)

Sadly he's blanked me ever since he learned that I wasn't PLU.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 12:31, closed)

nobody on b3ta has ever had sex
Apart from spankyhanky.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 11:33, closed)

I didn't say who had the great sex you fucking racist.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 12:30, closed)

This seems oddly appropriate right now...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP0HHX4Ur9g
(piston_broke Actually thinks Supermatt is a decent bloke., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:44, closed)

That's pretty well him, yes!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 16:23, closed)