Gatwick Airport, 1997.
About to board a plane for the first time ever (in my twenties), nerves and excitement are taking turns to dance on my bladder, making me need a piss every fifteen minutes.

I go for one last leak before getting on the plane and as I enter the gents, Terence Stamp exits a cubicle having dropped an aggressively pungent mud-baby.

We briefly make slightly awkward eye contact and I take my place at a urinal with the stench of acrid thesp-biscuit burning my nostrils.

Kneel before Chod!


2.

Gibson Night of 100 Guitars, Wembley Arena 1994.

After a misunderstood hand gesture, Slash from G'n'R comes back onto the stage and before starting to play, points at me, gives me the 'wanker' gesture and flicks his cigarette at me.

Mr Slash, on the vanishingly small chance you read this and remember the event, I promise you my original hand gesture wasn't directed at you. However, having since read your autobiography, I think you're a proper cunt, so you can shove it up your toilet, you top-hat-wearing penis.

Ta.
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 2:18, 5 replies)

you're

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 3:07, closed)

there, their, they're it'll be okay
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 7:01, closed)

I certainly am!



(I've craftily edited the posted, so it now looks like I'm enjoying one of those cool internet conversations that the fun people have.)
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:50, closed)

Haha!
Have a click for kneel before chod, and cursing at Slash.
(SimianKid internet faffer, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:41, closed)

:)
Ta!
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:51, closed)

I like both of these stories.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:23, closed)