I haven't celebrated the fact I have recently discovered I am going to be a father
Because apparently you have to wait 12 weeks or some shit.

Until that time it isn't really real.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 18:26, 18 replies)

Everybody hates you.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 18:29, closed)

Congrats
And good luck with it all. Nice one!

I think you deserve a My Cock & Balls Work! night out.
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 18:32, closed)

Can you keep us informed of the availability of greetings cards for this type of celebration?

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 26 Sep 2014, 18:37, closed)

it'd be easy enough
one of those online card design places - just upload a surprising photo....
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 18:58, closed)

prolly coz there's a one in five chance of miscarriage at that stage
but congratulations on overcoming your paedophile tendencies for long enough to drip a few motile sperm up an adult cunt
(sock puppet 94980 your personal details here, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 18:33, closed)

Look on it as an investment.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 18:39, closed)

I didn't think the mentally atypical went for deferred gratification.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 26 Sep 2014, 18:40, closed)

An investment that will demand further deposits for the next twenty years,
before dumping you in a care home?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 19:11, closed)

He'll give it some deposits, alright.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 26 Sep 2014, 19:38, closed)

Then kill it when it gets too old to be sexy.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 19:42, closed)

CSI: The Grim North
These episodes are just writing themselves.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 26 Sep 2014, 19:47, closed)

I've got a horrible feeling this is another Friz fake infant death attention seeking ploy.

(sock puppet 94980 your personal details here, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 19:14, closed)

I feel like I've missed so much b3ta history.
Any links available?
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 26 Sep 2014, 19:37, closed)

as long as she thinks it's yours and not mine
I'm happy.
( PooPants, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 22:19, closed)

Thisis totes going to be Friz's baby all over agin innit.
Only Sf will probably fuck it before it dies
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 27 Sep 2014, 0:08, closed)

You despicable human

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 27 Sep 2014, 13:09, closed)

Glad you're taking all these irreverent comments posted on a comedy messageboard VERY seriously indeed.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 27 Sep 2014, 19:51, closed)

Celebrate whenever you want.
Just be aware that spontaneous abortions and still births aren't pleasant. Emotional cripple that I am I even found a very late hevy period cause for some reflection.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sat 27 Sep 2014, 16:33, closed)