My first time....
...asking someone out, and posting. I hope that this goes better than that did.

I have never been good with the fairer sex. Ever. So when my older brother's best mate corners me one night and tells me that a young lady is hot for me, my ears naturally perk up. "Really?" I ask. "yep, defo!". And like that, I'm away. Well, stumbling off, turning over killer lines in my woefully trusting mind.

Next evening, sitting in a big circle of chairs in our yacht club (yes, I'm a bit posh). I plonk myself on the low radiator than runs round the edge and start to scoot, ever so slowly, along it. Gradually, with all the grace and skill of a blind badger on E, I approach my prey. Eventually, I am lurking behind her. All eyes are on me (of course they are, I'm looking a bit rapey, even for a 13-year old). I lean forward, and, in sight of my entire peer group, utter the immortal words "even though you support Liverpool, will you go out with me?"

And I run. Quite literally get up and peg it. Outside, down the steps, onto my bike and away. Not because she took it badly, oh no, she hadn't the time. I just ran. To this day I don't know why (I should probably add that I'm not an Everton fan or anything. In fact I have very little interest in football whatsoever). The most cringe-worthy thing, looking back, is how proud I was on that ride home. I felt like the king of the world. How could she resist my knicker-drenching charm?

Quite easily actually. My bro's friend had made the whole thing up. I am still friends with the chick in question, but it's always been a bit wierd.

On the plus side, he was revealed for the twunt he was. Crowning moment was when he took a fully loaded-up spinnaker-pole to the face (totally his own fault) and ended up puncturing his cheek with his own teeth. Noone helped, we all laughed. Except one person.

I pointed. And then laughed.
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 19:31, 3 replies)

I like this
It's the fact that to this day you don't quite know why you didn't stick around for the answer, albeit inevitable!
*click*
( JebediahSpringfield, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 19:43, closed)

I'm clicking this...
Purely for the 'with all the grace and skill of a blind badger on E' line...been there myself...
( snee held his breath since, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 8:42, closed)

I like this
Especially viewing Liverpool fans as a potential deal breaker, and the line 'a bit rapey'
(ihaveab3tanamenow, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 8:51, closed)