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This is a question Cheap Tat

OneEyedMonster remindes us about the crap you can buy in pound shops: "Batteries that lasted about an hour and then died. A screwdriver with a loose handle so I couldn't turn the damn screw, and a tape measure which wasn't at all accurate."

Similarly, my neighbour bought a lawnmower from Argos that was so cheap the wheels didn't go round, it sort of skidded over the grass whilst gently back-combing it.

What's the cheapest, most useless crap you've bought?

(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 7:26)
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Hoovers again...
bit of a recurring theme here, eh? Back in the day, we were given a decent hoover as a wedding gift - all was good. It lasted for nearly eight years, before packing up. On an aside, we stuck it out beside the wheelie bin and somebody nicked it!

Anyhoo, we didn't have much money at the time, actually we had no spare money at all, and the MIL kindly offered to buy us a new hoover. Which she did. It was the cheapest one in the Argos catalogue, which kind of says it all.

It didn't hoover so much, as hover. It sort of glided over the carpet, making all the right noises. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. You know how it goes, you go over the same bit of fluff half a dozen times then give in and pick it up by hand.

Now I don't come from a rich family, but the parents always went for the brand names - you get what you pay for, after all. This had been my mantra for many years, and with food, always will be. But times were hard. I was stuck with the thing.

Lo, for a year I put up with the useless article. Until, wonder of wonders, a better paying job came my way. Soon after, joy of joys, a bonus came my way. Yeehah!

It wasn't a huge bonus (couple of hundred quid) but I splurged the whole lot on a Dyson. Happy hoovering!

First time round the lounge with the Dyson, and it nearly filled the dust container. I was so ashamed. My child had been playing on this filthy carpet for a year. I had been ......... well never mind that!

It took two hours to hoover the entire house with my (no longer shiny) new Dyson before it stopped lifting crate-loads of muck from the carpets and I could relax. That Dyson lasted for a respectable 7 years, to be replaced with the updated version when it eventually gave up the ghost.

Moral of the story - don't buy cheap hoovers - just don't.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:10, 9 replies)
It's scary seeing what comes out of a carpet using a dyson isn't it.
I once had to hoover up an ant invasion in my parents house and I could see them walking round in the dyson. So I hoovered up some ant powder and watched them slowly die. I felt awful, I had turned a dyson into a gas chamber for ants.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:22, closed)
Colonel
you're my kinda guy. I hoover up spiders but I've never tried it on ants. The ant-powder was a fine idea! Teach them to invade a house!
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:27, closed)
Without wanting to pry too much
Does your child suffer asthma, or is ill very often?

I think the kids exposed to a bit of dirt and grime tend to get ill less than those living in a spotless, disinfected germ free environment. As a kid i ate everything in the garden from spiders and earthworms to just earth. I've had 1 sick day in the last 3 1/2 years (food poisoning) and recently got my first allergy (cheap washing powder) other than that healthy as.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:28, closed)
mouse
I saw someone hoover up a mouse. Actually I began to see it then I pretended I had some urgent business to attend to in the bathroom.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:33, closed)
Moonraker
thankfully, neither of my kids has any allergies. They played in the dirt, ate sweeties with mucky hands, we've always had pets, all the usual. Disgustingly healthy, the pair of them.

My point was just HOW filthy the carpet had gotten over a year. I kid you not, this was disgusting. It had all sunk to the bottom of the carpet-pile of course, but it made me shudder when the Dyson dragged it out!
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:35, closed)
Like the Royles
We're "laminated throughout". It's receding into the annals of bad taste these days, but I love the stuff. It was already in this house when we moved in, but I put it down in our last house and would never return to fitted carpets.

Since her pregnancy, the wife's become somewhat neurotic about cleanliness and spends most of her evenings and weekends on her hands & knees with the hoover (Tesco value dontchaknow!) or the dustpan. On sunny days when any dust on the floor is illuminated, she's like a woman posessed.

My point being that the phenomenal amount of dust and small spillages that are easily removed from a hard floor would never come out of a carpet - not even with a dyson.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:45, closed)
Greencloud
with you on the laminate but Mr Witch insists on carpets in the bedrooms. So I still have some hoovering to do! Working on it, though, working on it!
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:48, closed)
Rugs m'dear, rugs.
The laminate stuff is great for practicality but awful to sit / lie on. The wife wanted to have carpets fitted and replace our leather sofa with a fabric one when we moved to make the place 'cosier' as our baby was on the way.

I flatly refused, envisaging several years of urine, faeces, vomitus, food, and drink mishaps. She (miraculously) now admits that I was right.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:00, closed)
with the...
dyson our carpet actually changed colour... and this was in the family home with a neurotic 'monica' mother person cleaning it 24/7...
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:42, closed)

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