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This is a question Cheap Tat

OneEyedMonster remindes us about the crap you can buy in pound shops: "Batteries that lasted about an hour and then died. A screwdriver with a loose handle so I couldn't turn the damn screw, and a tape measure which wasn't at all accurate."

Similarly, my neighbour bought a lawnmower from Argos that was so cheap the wheels didn't go round, it sort of skidded over the grass whilst gently back-combing it.

What's the cheapest, most useless crap you've bought?

(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 7:26)
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"MAY PRE-HOUSE THE SEAMY SIDE VOLITATION!!"
I doubt that anyone can top this.

Prythee no sport with stingy or play aspersity game. Winding finger have got bloodstream not wallk. Throagh of peril! Tad disport of time grown man taletage. Till the cowcomes home!

Oh- and be sure to click on the picture of the back of the box. The Engrish contained therein is truly classic.
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:23, 11 replies)
Okay, you win
*click*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:24, closed)
Hahahaha, ace! "Wiping ceiling of bilge dasto" =D
Gotta love Engrish:

www.b3ta.com/board/7914866

Yes, it's a cheeky whoring out of an image challenge entry... don't click "I like this" =)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:35, closed)
Brilliant
And, as a public service...



BTW: I think I've found my sig...
BTW again: what do those warning symbols actually mean? Avoid contact with astronauts?
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:40, closed)
Enzyme
I think you should also avoid the wee gas flames in the telly adverts, by the looks of things!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:45, closed)
WeeWitch
I try to avoid wee gas all the time, flaming or not. After eating asparagus or Sugar Puffs, it's more difficult, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:55, closed)
Enzyme
Ooooh, there's always one pedant! Wee as in little of course (as if you didn't know). As the lawyers say, for the avoidance of doubt, stay away from tiny gas flames (which may also be small, minute or less-than-magnificent. Other fuels are available).

TheSmallWitch
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:21, closed)
Pedant? Moi?
I aim to please...
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:32, closed)
I think
the first one means "Don't make Pac-Man cry."

The second one would be "Avoid Pac-Man's tears."

The third one would be "Don't give Pac-Man troll hair."

The last one therefore would be, "If you do, he'll come to get you in the night."
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 4 Jan 2008, 16:36, closed)
It appears to have two settings
OFF and NO.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 19:34, closed)
maybe it's more a setting

and advice. So if you are ever foolish enough to actually think it would be a good idea to turn it on when you go to you see "NO" and think that would probably be a good idea then maybe go for a nice cuppa and a wee pork pie
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 9:04, closed)
It's the frequent use of the archaic 'prythee' that makes me chuckle
I can imagine them using a Chinese-Engish 'Dictionairie' from the 1700's that has been passed down the generations (and is now mostly illegible)
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 12:51, closed)

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