Childhood AmbitionsHoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
(
chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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Not being a werewolfMy childhood ambition was to not be a werewolf.
On a long car journey back from our static caravan in Wales, my mother informed her young son that he had not been christened.
Having just heard that from one of the scallywags on the caravan park that people who are werewolves will only turn into werewolves (a) if they had not been christened and (b) when they reached 18, I naturally assumed that on reaching 18 everyone who had not been christened would turn into a werewolf.
It took several hours to convince me to stop blubbing about what life had in store for me and several years for the nagging fear to finally leave me. It gets mentioned several times - on growing my first bit of bumfluff, "must be the first signs of 'the change'" and of course on my 18th birthday.
Not content on that I was later informed that I couldn't be my preferred choice of non-lycanthropic professional, a pilot. Nor my second, a soldier. Nor my third, a sailor. Apparently I have very poor colour vision...just like wolves...I support Wolves...I am from woleverhampton... its all beginning to fit. Oh no...
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:20, Reply)
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