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This is a question Childhood Ambitions

HoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.

"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."

Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.

(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
Pages: Latest, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, ... 4, 3, 2, 1

This question is now closed.

Not being a werewolf
My childhood ambition was to not be a werewolf.

On a long car journey back from our static caravan in Wales, my mother informed her young son that he had not been christened.

Having just heard that from one of the scallywags on the caravan park that people who are werewolves will only turn into werewolves (a) if they had not been christened and (b) when they reached 18, I naturally assumed that on reaching 18 everyone who had not been christened would turn into a werewolf.

It took several hours to convince me to stop blubbing about what life had in store for me and several years for the nagging fear to finally leave me. It gets mentioned several times - on growing my first bit of bumfluff, "must be the first signs of 'the change'" and of course on my 18th birthday.

Not content on that I was later informed that I couldn't be my preferred choice of non-lycanthropic professional, a pilot. Nor my second, a soldier. Nor my third, a sailor. Apparently I have very poor colour vision...just like wolves...I support Wolves...I am from woleverhampton... its all beginning to fit. Oh no...
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:20, Reply)
end of ambitions
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:14, Reply)
Live in a Hole
Ambitions - Plenty
Realised - 0

When I was a young boy i wanted to live in a hole during the day and be a DJ at night. The hole was so that i would be able to see all the "interesting" things in the ground and a DJ i think because of the flashing lights.

Then I became a teenager - during my teenage years my dad wanted me to be a solicitor so that I could represent him whenever he got into trouble. But he died.

Now my ambition is be a lvl 70 pick axe wielding bald headed dwarf with big shoulder pads in WoW (comp game - D&D on the internet - addictive, sad and worthless).

Needless to say - I am not a solicitor, do not live in the ground, can't DJ beyond my bedroom (its official I am a dancing dad) and am over 5ft.

I do have a pick axe though in the garden....
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:13, Reply)
when i was little i desperatly wanted to work in chocolate factory. I had dreams of a wonderful willa-wonka land that had trees, cups, hats and pathways all made entirely of chocolate all made by tiny little orange umpa lumpas.
It wasnt until much later that i realised only sad w**kers with no qualifications work in chocolate factories, supported by the fact that when i went to cadbury land - it really wasnt what I expected. for my £15, I got 3 Free chocolate bars, and a tour around the factory where you can watch people box chocolate. - wasnt fun, wasnt colourful, and was very, very dated.... the only ride it had (much like a haunted house ride) took you to a room which displayed some very old looking M&M peanut toys in various positions and costumes! WTF????
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:12, Reply)
You obviously don't live in the UK. Farmers get money thrown at them, while cutting corners and forcing the rest of the country to eat animals that have been reared on a diet of faeces and the rotting carcasses of their fellow animals.

There's no such thing as a poor British farmer.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:06, Reply)
From a very young age I wanted to be
a warfare officer in the Royal Navy. I used to be quite athletic until I went to university, where a diet of pizza and beer expanded my gut. By the time I got back into shape I was nearly 26, which is the maximum age that the Royal Navy recruit warfare officers at.

The story has a happy ending though - I went back to university to do another degree in Software Engineering this time. I then found out that the cut off age for Engineering (Information Officers) is 30. So I'm not out for the count just yet!
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:04, Reply)
since as long as I can remember...
I always wanted a soul destroying job working as a software tester in an Investment Bank.

If you apply yourself, dreams truly can come true.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 13:03, Reply)
Shift happens
At about the age of 8 I wanted to become a farmer. I asked a farmer how best to get a huge farm and, like, tractors (a lot of them). The answer was that I would have to marry a farmer girl. With the years, my initial reaction: 'a GIRL, blegh!' gradually changed to 'a FARMER girl, blegh!'

Now I am a crippled veganist nazi. Result!!
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:58, Reply)
Varied ambition...sadly lacking in any reality
At the time when Inspector Morse was on the telly- I wanted to be a Detective Inspector- I wasn't going to work my way up the police heirachy (currently known as theiving/bribe taking/and generally not working up the ladder- sorry-not a fan of the pigs) oh no I was going to go straight in AND have a beautiful car AND live in Oxford.

Then I wanted to be a Forensic Pathologist- until I realised I'd have to be a) good at science, and b) clever and even more inportantly c) a hard worker.

Then after uni- I wanted to go into Marketing- with no marketing degree/qualifications or experience.

I am now a software tester working for a company that seems desperate to cock up a £10 million contract by tomorrow.

So next week- who knows my ambition to be unemployed may come true..no.. wait...b*gger.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:48, Reply)
When i was but a wee nipper...
My very first career plan was that i wanted to be a ghostbuster, closely followed by wanting to be a teenage mutant ninja turtle. However, shattering of childhood dreams aside, i realised that they were fairly hard careers to get into. (mainly due to lack of rampaging ghosts in early 90's sheffield and not being turtle that knew kung-fu)

After that i grew up a bit and decided that i wanted to be a business man and own my own chain of convinience shops (spar style) and retire at 40 with shit loads of cash

Come secondary school and approaching the age where everyone is telling you how u should go to uni i decided that i want to be an aerospace engineer and design plans, then decided that i wanted to be a prostectics engineer (making false limbs) purely so i could eventually build my own terminator...

Now? Now i'm working towards getting my own pub

length, girth, i've got it all!! (just waitin for those damn pubes!!!)
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:48, Reply)
I wanted...
...to be a game show host, and also star in the odd film, which might possibly involve toothpaste.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:45, Reply)
I wanted to be a lighthouse keeper until they made them all automatic, bastards! I've ended up working for the government.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:37, Reply)
Early Aspirations
I thought ythat being a lwyer meant that you got paid to argue politely.

I was wrong.


Elaine doesn't trust me.

(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:34, Reply)
I did a government "what career for you" test once
It said I would make a great airline pilot, or a spy.

However, I'm a complete wuss, so I joined the public service instead.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:32, Reply)
Wanted to be a writer
Had a brief career in the meeja. That went up in flames after 5 or so years.

Now - just happy and not scared of bills is fine with me.

A friend once said that some of the most interesting people he'd met didn't know what they wanted to be at an early age, some even at 30, some even at 40.

I'd agree with that.

Ambition is an ugly thing.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:31, Reply)
Hey First
I am a journalist. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Always wanted to be one, though. Long lazy lunches, exciting scoops, a life of intrigue and danger.

Bollocks. Am writing this as I eat cardboad chicken at my desk...
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:28, Reply)
I grew up wanting to be a Rubbish Wrestler
I really wanted to be a wreslter in the early 90's. Basically, my mate got Sky, and I was transfixed by musclebound men in swimming trunks (in a non-gay way).

However, as a child, I was scared of getting hurt.

The week later, we got sky, and we were watching wrestling. Anyway I was just saying to my mum and dad "I WANNA BE A WRESTLER!", jumping on and off the couch, that kind of thing that a sugared up child of the 90's would do.

However, something happened that made me give up the dream.

The Undertaker locked The Ultimate Warrior in a coffin, and they had to break him out, give him cpr, and attached him to a defribilator. All very scary stuff for a 7 year old, who didn't know it was fake.

I immediately thought that by saying repeatedly "I WANNA BE A WRESTLER", I had already made my career plans, I started saying "I DON'T WANNA BE A WRESTLER! I DON'T WANT TO BE A WRESTLER!", crying, and being a very irrational 7 year old. Even after my mum shattered the illusion that The Undertaker probably owns a car, is called 'Brad', and is actually a very nice man down the shops, I was not convinced.

So I thought of a way out.

I would be tag team champions with Hulk Hogan.

Simple! He likes fighting, he can do all of it, I'd just stand in the corner, smiling gormlessly. We'd never lose.

I'm 23, work in IT, and yet to be Tag Champion.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:28, Reply)
When I were a little lad we had an activity one afternoon. Write a short essay on what you want to do when you finish school. I think I misunderstood the question.

Amidst the stories of vets and firemen, my story stood out.

When I finish school I want to go home, eat some cereal and watch television. I want to watch Inspector Gadget, and then Dr. Who with my dad and Brother.

Strangely enough, I have finally acheived this career objective.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:26, Reply)
Managed ambitions
At a tender age I told my very middle class grandma that I wanted to be a policeman (as one had just given my class us a road safety talk and he was very cool). She politely suggested that being a lawyer might be a better career for her grandson.

Also, my very liberal parents made a point of not encouraging gender stereotypes. We wern't bought guns to play with (so had to save up our pocket money to buy our own) and my brother spent his childhood playing with a cookery set.

When he got a bit older he deserately wanted to be a fighter pilot, and now designs roads.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:24, Reply)
I wanted a back brush
so I could scrub my own back in the bath.

And now I've got one. Childhood dreams fulfilled; feels good.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:23, Reply)
The family dog
As a young lad I wanted to be a Spaceman. Or a Knight.

Or possibly a Medieval Spaceman that shot dragons with laser rifles.

Then I wanted to be a fireman, until a news article which reported on a fireman burning to death.

After that I decided I wanted to be a dog.

(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:17, Reply)
I made it in the career I always wanted, i.e. to be a pagan, 4th century Belgian deity. However, pursuant to the annual meeting of the Church of England synod in 1973, it was agreed upon that although the basis for my being was fully understood and recognised, I didn't actually exist.

Bastards. They could have decided before I'd repainted the entrance hall of the clubhouse.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:16, Reply)
I was going to be an entrepreneur....
but at four I couldn't spell it......
I work on a help-desk now.

(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:15, Reply)
I wanted to be a dustbin man
Crappy job, but only one day a week
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:11, Reply)
I wanted to be an engineer...
I loved lego and it seemed a sensible path to take.

Also, word on the street was they get paid a lot.

This was a lie.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:10, Reply)
fire engine
In the infants we were all asked what we wanted to be when we grow up. I wanted to be a pharmacist mainly because I thought it sounded clever (my mum had told me what it was and I thought, I'LL HAVE ME SOME OF THAT). However, one boy decided he was going to be a fire engine, that's right, not a fireman, but a fire engine.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:08, Reply)
I wanted to be a jouralist on Countryfile. sorry.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:07, Reply)
I wanted to be a farmer. Thought it would be class, never paying for food.
Than I grew up, and heard about how much farmers here get screwed over, and can lose everything in one epidemic. Now I want to be an engineer.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:06, Reply)
I wanted to be a journalist.

This first post is the pinnacle of my writing career.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:05, Reply)

This question is now closed.

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