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This is a question Childhood Ambitions

HoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.

"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."

Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.

(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
Pages: Latest, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, ... 1

This question is now closed.

bloody hell b3ta
just did an interest calculation online and saved it onto client folder as a word screendump because there was no print option.

once you've saved it to the client folder, there is no deleting it.

so to my horror, now i've gone back into the client folder to print it out, i must have had b3ta in the background. nice and clearly, behind the calculation window, is a huge grey box screaming about DISEASED FANNIES.

it was never my childhood ambition to be sacked for saving indelible scat on my clients' soft data....................
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 17:05, Reply)
I always wanted to be a hobo or 'tramp' if you will.

Because they always seemed to be very musical and merry.

I didn't realise this was because they were always drunk to block out the horror of their predicaments!

So then I wanted to be a bus driver just like my Unstabledad. Only he got sacked for coming down the Horseshoe Pass on the way to Rhyl backwards due to black ice.

Now I just want to win the lotto.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 16:57, Reply)
Computers aswell
Loved the film War Games & loved Super Mario Bros. 3 so decided I'd like to study all things computer. Spent 4 years studying the bloody things & I'm still none the wiser. I work in audio now so thank god.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 16:22, Reply)
I always wanted to work in/with computers because I thought it'd be cool.

My ambition has come true.

But it isn't cool.

In any way, shape or form.

Kill me. Now.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 16:17, Reply)
Ambitions Huh?
When I was just a wee girl, I wanted to be a vet - y'know, save all the cute icckle naminals and such. Gave up on that one at about 10, after hearing my mothers horror stories about twitching dead rats. Ick. Being of a squeamish disposition, I moved onto wanting a nice cushy job in the media. Haha...yea..."cushy"....
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 16:13, Reply)
When I was little I wanted to be an air hostess... I'm still little, I'm 4"11 at the age of 19, Too small to be an air hostess :-( I'm a bit scared of planes now anyway cause of the suicide place jackers...
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 16:11, Reply)
A Baker
Yes when i was 8/9 i wanted to be a baker.

I think it was after seeing a Johnston,Mooney and O'Brien ad on Rte.I wanted to be Johnston.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 15:19, Reply)
impressive ambition, boring career...
I wanted to be a nuclear physicist. Just because it sounded kinda cool. No other reason, - I didn't even really know what they did. So in 1986 I went to Keele and studied for a degree in Physics and Electronics.

21 years on... and you'd think perhaps I'd be a nuclear physics expert, advising the government on the Iranian nuclear enrichment process and giving interviews to the BBC as an expert on weapons grade plutonium.

Nope. I'm an accountant. Possibly the least exciting job in the world.

Kill me. Kill me now...
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 14:32, Reply)
The Hungry Caterpillar Ballet
At the age of six, my lifetime ambition, like many other girls, was to be a prima ballerina.

This dream was brought to an abrupt and rather cruel end when the ballet school junior section put on The Hungry Caterpillar, as in the children's book with the caterpillar who eats numerous different types of food.

I was cast as the sausage.

Apparently I asked my mother at the end why all the other mummies were laughing at me.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 13:03, Reply)
When I was small Like most children without brother or sister I had an imaginary friend. Though I had a team of workers who would sort things out for me and do my bidding. I was no mean boss my mum has informed me, often giving them all holidays abroad as bonuses.

My ambition, by the sound of things, to be some sort of gang land boss. Disappeared when I started my first job at WHsmiths instead of starting up a protection ring.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 12:39, Reply)
re: Apeloverage
"I like my ladies to feel like royalty by the end of their time with me, so that they will recommend me to their friends and also return to me on a regular basis"

What, smashed into a concrete pillar at 100 mph ?

One for the more specialist end of the market Im guessing...
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 12:09, Reply)
Tonight Matthew...
When I was 8 or 9 I wanted to be Matt Roberts. He was my hero. He was tall and funny and had an extensive Beano & Dandy collection, including the annuals. He had the Young Ones on video. He showed me a used condom found near the school playing fields once. He was in the class above me but he let me hang around with him and his mates as they lived near my house. I could go on their bikes and everything. We played football in the summer holidays which lasted for several years in those days it seemed. Matt wanted to be in the Army which was about as cool as it got really. I was awestruck. His mum was cool, and his Dad had a very smart 'tache.

After a particularly brilliant and hazy sunny summer we returned to school. We had to prepare something for assembly where we all stood up and told everyone in the school who our Hero was. Mine was easy and i quickly wrote a few lines about Matt and how fandabbidozy he was.

I'm first on the register, I got to go first, in the whole of the school! I stood up and rather eloquently informed 265 kids of why Matt was my hero and how superbrilliant he was and how he let me play with his bike and football and let me try on his coat and how he was going to be an excellent great soldier and would kill lots and lots of people one day.

Cue silence and dropped jaws. Then, 1 second later, every single kid pissing themselves with laughter. Possibly some teachers too.

Bemused and bewildered i sat down at the end of my row. And watched the 29 other kids in my class reel off names like 'Kenny Dalgleish' and 'Big Daddy' etc and all really cool people.

Oh the shame. Fuck ambition!

forgot to say. Matt joined the army. Last time I saw him was as he passed me in Euston in full army gear. He looked like a fucking psycho.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 11:46, Reply)
childhood ambitions
I always wanted to be a mechanic, get all greasy and fix big trucks. That was until I tried it. The blokes thought I was too weedy and one guy got really arsey when I fixed something he could not. Tosser!

Now days I am a scientist. When I was still at school, my Physics teacher told my Mum that I was too thick to be a scientist and I should give up.

I spent two years in Engineering college training to be a mechanic which I hated, so I left and went to university and got a science degree.

To this day I still hate those mechanics who treat me like a thick woman who does not know what they are talking about, bastards...

As a side issue, my Dad wanted me to join the army, but he gave up on that idea when, aged only twelve, I asked if I could join CND!
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 11:38, Reply)
i dreamt of:
playing footy for liverpool football club, i was obsessed by this and i played whenever i could, in school, in the backgarden, the street, in the house (got in loads of shit for that) i went to football academy's in my summer holidays i even played in the states in tournaments, it was only by the age of about 15 i realised 1 thing stood in my way, i was shit at football! well i was compared to the pro's, so dreams dashed and a few dump jobs and one redundancy later i joined the royal navy to fix harrier jets which is still do now, and i play 5 a side with the lads, if they pick me..... which the do... as its my ball
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 11:30, Reply)
Gay male escorts....
I wanted to be a goatse lookalike ...
... but then I realised I would have to compete with this man

I gave up. He wins hands down.

May the lord have mercy on his soul. And crap QOTW posts.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 11:26, Reply)
Born to sell out
From as early as I can remember I always thought that I'd be some kind of soulless but successful corporate drone, so my aspirations have never crumbled, although my soul has crumbled under the weight of the implacable juggernaut of my capitalist greed.

Wow, my first post. On n00b tuesday or whatever it is you call it as well, oh the shame.

I've read enough nonsense here now to know that I should make either some weak innuendo about length or hugely ironic statement about how I won't be sucked into the whole length innuendo business, while still ending up talking about it. As far as I can tell the fact that my post hasn't actually been particularly long shouldn't stand in the way of it either.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 11:19, Reply)
male escort sites
Dave here says:

"I like my ladies to feel like royalty by the end of their time with me, so that they will recommend me to their friends and also return to me on a regular basis"

in other words "I act romantic so I can fuck your friends - but I want to keep seeing you at the same time."

I'm not sure that's quite what the ladies are looking for. But he's very honest.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 10:40, Reply)
When I was young, I dreamt of being...
An Engineer. Yes, I know. Probably caused by the fact I wasn't allowed any 'non-educational' toys, so Lego and Technic were my staple diet for playtimes.

When I left school at 16, I Joined an offshoot of BAE as an apprentice, got my qualifications, and was sent all over europe to play with fix and maintain Radars.

Great fun. I got myself some good qualifications and the standard Field Engineer's drinking problem (if you're overseas and haven't got anything else to do, drinking 15 pints of lager a night, every night is the norm).

I left that to go and play at sparking (electrician-ing) on the underground, had fun for a year whilst doing up a house, made some money, then decided I wanted to muck about with the web.

Then I got my current job as a Global web sites analyst (basically a helpdesk for web editors, not as fun as it sounds).

I don't think I'll be an engineer again, at least not overseas. There's no place like Blighty.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 10:38, Reply)
Male Escorts. Anyone want a job?
I wanted to be a male escort ...
... but then I realised I would have to compete with this man.

The terrifying thing is that he's one of the more appealing men on that page. Compare and contrast.

When I was a wee girl, perhaps six or so, I wanted to have some high paying and glamourous, but mysteriously unspecified, job which involved me living in a fancy apartment, eating at fancy restaurants, driving a classic car, wearing designer clothes and having an endless string of boyfriends a la Sex and The City (except this is in 1978 or so).

I now live in an apartment with a leaking bathtub, mushrooms growing in the carpet, institution-yellow walls, 25kg overweight, the arse falling out of all my clothes, a 1980 Toyota Corolla with a TISM sticker in the rear window, I live on X-Tra Saucy Noodles and I've had sex maybe three times in seven years. On the bright side, I'll graduate soon... and probably dive straight back into a Master's degree because I really don't think I can face the real world.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 9:49, Reply)
mindless ambition
When I was a wee 'un, I wanted to be a runner, a writer and an artist (penchant for multi-tasking from an early age)

What do I do now? I got a degree in Occupational Therapy after school, on the understanding that there was loadsa jobs and ergo much likelihood of not getting out of uni and getting a McJob.
After spending enough years trying to motivate sick people/people with disabilities to engage in meaningful activities and identify their own goals and take resposibility for their own health, while trying to maintain a semblance of my own will to live in the face of a crumbling public health service and overworked burntout colleagues, its time for a change, but not sure what else I can do with such a 'specialised' degree.

So I'm still interested in writing, my dream is to write a book (yeah, dead original) and I'm toying with doing a course in proofreading and setting up as copy editor? Words rock my world.
I'm also wanting to do an art foundation course part time (plan b post A levels, OT won), and have just, after many years of procrastinating, got myself back into the 'zone' with evening classes.
And I started 'jogging' a few years back, nothing serious, but going from couch potato to so-called fun-runs (in my book) makes me a bit of a 'runner'(even though my run tonight is not likely to happen while I write this . . . )

RE Clapper's earlier post about not stopping growing, I think you're dead right.
So my new career ambitions also include professional dogwalker, busdriver, arc welder and mother. And yes, all at once. Why the hell not? Reach for the stars.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 8:36, Reply)
Just remembered a few more of my ambitions
Counselor - as Friends always happened to bitch to be and I would always try to help, to genneral success
This failed when I realized that after a good month of complaining about not being able to get a girlfriend/wanting to kill themselves, I wanted to help with more than just their girl problems.
so out of fear I would become the Jack Kevorkian of Therapy, gave that one up.

-Mathematician - This one was purely because I have always been pretty fair at math, But I realized it became boring after one double period of the stuff back in High School.

-Inventor - (mentioned earlier yes) This idea came into my head by way of my dad. At the time (when I was about...10?) I truly believed that I had to know what I was going to be when I grew up right then and there. So I ask him, and he says that I'm deffinatly an inventor, Judging by the long and ridiculous hours I used to spend building with LEGOs. Followed this advice to the tee until about a month ago, as The entirety of my freshman year has been spent as a Mechanical Engineering Major in a fairly good school for the stuff. I realized I hated it though, I don't really like the sciences as much as I'd thought, And I was having a much better time in any class that didn't involve them.
So now I'm a Philosophy Major, who's considering transferring to New York University. The choice just became increasingly clear over freshman year, I mean, I real Philosophy textbooks and write my own responses, as well as some theories of my own, Purely for fun, And could easily do the same for school.
So now what do I want to be?
A Professor of Philosophy at any College (although preferably one in New York), What would I do? I teach undergrads, slapping them upside the head a few times. Drink with the Philosophy majors (extra credit if you can hold your liquor better than me), write books, and do research!

Length, yep, But existentially speaking, do any of us really have length?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 6:58, Reply)
I wanted....
to join the army air corps, so i could wear a cool blue beret and fly helicoptors.
I did all the tests and allt hat passed with flying colours. Failed the medical due to some tit of a doctor giving me some stuff that asthmatics have (and I can't remember how to spell it) a year previously (I'd had a REALLY bad cough and they gave me this stuff to try and help..it did help actually..at the time...shame it destroyed my dreams..)
Anyway, they saw this and said..'Ooo asthma. sorry son, off you go..'

This was the period of time where the army was having all the cuts etc so i guess they used any old excuse to not let too many new people in.
Pissed me right off and here I am 16 years later still doing shit jobs because i never did get another real ambiotion.
Sad thing is I'm still of an age where I could still join up, but the mrs would never stand for it :( probably a good thing, i'd end up getting posted to Iraq and getting shot knowing my luck..

-edit FAO greyhound, about the Knightmare thing..I too wanted to be on it, in fact me and a few friends did finally get invited to go, but I'd just had a birthday and was over the upper age limit by then, so instead my friends brother went in my place...and yes, they went out in like 5 minutes. n00bs

Length? you can keep it..along with the typos
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 4:37, Reply)
Two options really...
First: a soldier or Marine.

Second: a spy.

I really wanted to be that spy, until I realized that I would probably get to do some cool stuff, but I would NEVER be able to talk about it.

My compromise? A US Marine Corps Intelligence Officer.

This way, I could do cool stuff, but thanks to the handy dandy lobotomy they provide each officer candidate, I wouldn't remember ANY of it! Kind of like a preemptive version of that pen thingy in Men in Black. Or at least I think that's what it was like...can't be sure.

Click I like this and I will forget everything I've written! but then I will have to kill you...I get that part confused...
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 3:59, Reply)
Raised on a farm, I thought I wanted to be a vet as a kid. That was before I volunteered for one summer at the local vet clinic. I'm not quite sure which event crushed that dream more: when they spayed a cat that turned out to have been pregnant enough you could make out the little babies, or when they replaced a cats hip. It was at the end of that summer that I realized I just didn't have the heart to do to them what, in most cases no doubt, needed to be done.
(, Mon 2 Apr 2007, 23:53, Reply)
The Punisher?
I wanted to be a crime fighter.

No not like Batman or policeman, I wanted to be a proper vigilante. You know, walk the streets until someone tries to rob you then kick the crap out of them and enforce some proper justice.

Then I found I was not a fan of pain, fighting, late nights or agressive people.

I'd still like to instill some revenge on the kind of chavvy scum I see cocking up the country but I'll have to rethink my method.
(, Mon 2 Apr 2007, 23:23, Reply)
C&A checkout operator
As a youngster I longed to work in C&A. Why you ask?
Well it had become my conclusion that C&A had bright colourful clothes including Ski jackets and you got to spend all day handling money.

By the time I was 15 it had occurred to me:
- C&A clothes are cheap crap
- You don't get to keep the money you take on the till.
- C&A were going bankrupt.

Thank god instead I studied Architecture and graduated into one of the worst recessions and property declines of the last century.

To this date, never worked as an Architect.
(, Mon 2 Apr 2007, 23:06, Reply)
I wanted to become the Pope
until I found out I was Jewish.
(, Mon 2 Apr 2007, 21:30, Reply)
I wanted to be a male escort ...
... but then I realised I would have to compete with this man.


His length is unknown - unless you have 50 quid spare.
(, Mon 2 Apr 2007, 21:15, Reply)
When I was litttle I wanted to be the Man from Atlantis
Holy God.... kids know nothing. Patrick Duffy (shudder...)
(, Mon 2 Apr 2007, 19:45, Reply)
Yeah, me too. Having watched Top Gun at an impressionable age I harbored a childhood ambition to snog Kelly McGillis, maintain a fearsome coiffeur and fly a multi-million dollar lump of aluminium and carbon fibre as my day job.

Unfortunately the only lump of aluminium and carbon fibre I'm able to get off the ground right now is my MTB upon which I manage to get a grand total of .00001 feet of air before landing front wheel first and saying "dude" a lot, much to the collective chagrin of the kids at the local jump park. The coiffeur is somewhat crinkly and Kelly McGillis is notable by her absence of late.

[edit] I also suffer from vertigo and a morbid fear of heights. Although I'm taller than the diminutive Tom Cruise, not being a stumpy shortarse means I prob won't fit into an F-14 Tomcat either. Meh.
(, Mon 2 Apr 2007, 17:49, Reply)

This question is now closed.

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