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This is a question Childhood Ambitions

HoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.

"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."

Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.

(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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Theme Park Catering
about 4 years ago when i was an innocent 17 year old, i thought it would be brilliant to work at a theme park. fun all day right? Well i used to work in a kids theme park in Windsor (i'll let you guess) I worked in a themed restaurant for a while, but soon got bored of it, so found ways to amuse myself. It worries me that the things i did probably wouldn't amuse a normal person, and when i look back, are in fact downright dangerous.

*when asked to mop the kitchen floor, i kept dipping the mop in the oil catch tray from the deep fat fryers instead of the washing up bucket. the floor was slipier than an ice rink, and my female supervisor went down the instant she set foot on it and had to go to home after damaging her elbow.

*found a dead mouse and hid it in a bowl of chips. the girl who was eating the chips let out a blood curdling scream when she found the said dead mouse in her dinner.

*found a dead pigeon one morning by the fryers, dipped it in batter and fryed it then thought it was funny to place it on display in the front counter/hotplate with the chicken kievs.

*filled the potwash machine so full with detergent that it pissed out of the sides and the whole kitchen was like a foam party.

*made hybrid tea & coffee mixes for the customers, and took great amusement when they didn't even notice.

*anonymously made Cd's for the restaurant with say 10 tracks of nice music, with 1 track in the middle, just a soundclip of some man going through a list of swearwords at volume, i used to put it on in the mornig when no-one was looking and just patiently wait till it got to the said track; much to the disgust of the parents of the kids, but i couldn't stop pissing myself.

yes i did get sacked. in fact i don't know what it's like to hand my notice in. i've had 5 jobs, and i feel the need to play stupid pranks at every one, which always leads to my dismissal. maybe i'll grow up one day, but i'm only 21 so not for a while yet :)
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 15:58, Reply)

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