b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Childhood Ambitions » Post 75726 | Search
This is a question Childhood Ambitions

HoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.

"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."

Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.

(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
Pages: Latest, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, ... 1

« Go Back

I kinda wanted to be a lawyer...
...until the week's school-organised work experience I did at the local solicitors'.

I spent Monday trying to fix the broken photocopier, Tuesday and Wednesday reading through dusty folders of case notes in a back room, and Thursday filling in the solicitors' timesheets for them. Even at my tender age, I knew they were taking the piss.

The highlight of the week was supposed to be Friday morning, which I would spend shadowing a legal executive at Lewes Crown Court. She picked me up and we showed up bright and eager at 9am – but the toerag whose case we were there for, didn’t. So his hearing was postponed from first thing till 5pm - we’d have to spend the day there waiting.

Now, I hadn’t thought to bring a bag, as we were supposed to be back by lunchtime – so I had no money, no food and nothing to read. Woe!

Did the solicitor take pity on me and buy me some food, or a drink? Did she offer to lend me money until we got back to the office? Did she find me something to do, show me round or introduce me to people? Did she in fact engage with me in any way, even just for a 2 minute chat to make sure I was okay?

No. The selfish cow spent the entire day studiously ignoring me, leaving me sitting catatonically bored, hungry and miserable in a wonky plastic chair. For 8 hours. She worked her way through about 15 coffees and bought herself a nice lunch in the café to eat in front of me, as if I wasn’t there. I studied the wall, the floor and my fingernails. For 8 hours.

As a crowning glory, in those halcyon days before mobiles, she refused to even let me use the payphone on the way out to let my parents know I’d be late, as she was ‘desperate to beat the traffic’. My mum was frantic by the time I got home.

Thanks for the trauma, witch. I wasn’t an especially high-functioning teenager, now I can’t even think about spending time with legal people without feeling miserable and desperately awkward. :-(
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 17:36, Reply)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, ... 1