Childhood AmbitionsHoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
(
chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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MarketingAt about age 17 I decided I was going to work in Marketing. I liked the idea of wearing a suit and tie and perhaps even a bowler hat in true Brit style. So after a bit of job-hunting I was fascinated to read a job advert in the Evening Standard that went something like this:
*** International Marketing Company Seeks Management Trainees ***
We require 17 individuals to train as managers in all aspects of sales and marketing. May include some foreign travel. Great opportunity in the marketing industry for the right candidates.
No experience necessary, full training provided! Earn £350-500 per day! Apply today, start tomorrow!
So I did indeed apply and attended an interview the next day and was offered a job! Whoo! The only thing is that it had nothing to do with marketing and was commission only. In my desperation for a job in marketing I had accepted a door-to-door sales job selling gas and electricity to the shops, restaurants and other businesses around London. Luckily for me I was pretty good at lying (I was a respectable and trustworthy young man at 18 so had no problem ripping people off) and I earned lots and lots of money.
All good so far but now I’m nearly 25 and have been job-hopping from one shit sales job to the next trying to relive those halcyon early days of much merriment and wads and wads of cash. I hate sales and I don’t want to do it anymore but I can’t seem to find work in any other areas! I have never done any “marketing” and all of my experience is in sales so the only jobs I get are sales related which is shite!
Luckily for me, I have just seen an advert in the paper for a job:
*** International Marketing Company Seeks Management Trainees ***
We require 17 individuals to train as managers in all aspects of sales and marketing. May include some foreign travel. Great opportunity in the marketing industry for the right candidates.
No experience necessary, full training provided! Earn £350-500 per day! Apply today, start tomorrow!
I think I might apply!
(, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 16:58, Reply)
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