Childhood AmbitionsHoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
(
chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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My career choicesAround 5 and 6, going into space. Then I got a PlayStation, and realised killing aliens in a virtual representation of space was probably better than training for years just to go and take a few photos of the moon.
7, going on 8, working at the tip. There was loads of cool stuff there, and it didn't seem particularly difficult.
Between 8 and 11, artist, photographer and archer seemed like better careers, but by this point, my video game addiction was out of control and I gave up on these.
NOTE: All through primary school, forger seemed like a good idea, though this was probably just because I'd always forged my mum's signature in my 'Reading Targets' booklet.
Entering secondary school, I realised that the government would pay me just to sit on my arse and pretend I had a bad back.
I got a guitar for my 14th birthday, so then I decided that rockstar was probably the world's best job, and realised I'd be a complete cretin not to go for it.
I'm now approaching my GCSEs, and as I'm absolutely shit at school I am not going to get any qualifications, leaving me with three options;
Punk rock guitarist
Artist (I got back into art, and now it's one of the few subjects in which I might get a GCSE)
Benefit fraudster
Length? Your mum didn't complain. Lack of humour? [Salutes, drops trousers and falls backwards out of window.]
(, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 17:16, Reply)
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