Ambitionless
I didn't really have any childhood ambitions. Every so often whilst at school I would have an imaginative thought and the "free thinker" alarm bell would ring and a thought police teacher would come and crush my spirit.

Here's where my teachers are now (the names haven't been changed to protect the innocent. Fuck them.)

1. Roger Randall. Gloriously got the lowest score ever on the Krypton factor by answering "what dog is used to pull sleds in the arctic" with "peke". Even the first years mocked him for months
2. Pete "Pip" Tuckey. The cunt that used to get off on picking on small boys by making them run cross country on the notorius "Tuckey Torture" runs. Dropped dead of a heart attack. Excellent poetic justice
3. Mr McLoughlin (cant remember his first name). Dropped dead in a Geography lesson after discovering Colin Eynon, the French teacher was practising his oral skills on his wife the voluptuous "ms" Leyshon (note: everyone could see your snatch in that skirt love and you knew it)
4. Bill Jennings, music teacher and outrageos paedophile. Serving 7 years for taking up Jason Simmons offer of using his 13 year old girlfriend at a rate of "10p a pump".
5. Warren "peace" Andrews, Classical Studies. Penniless alcoholic now banned from the british legion. And no, you cunt, I dont have any spare change and yes I do remember you. Who's the fucking waster with no prospects now eh? D-, must try harder.

Also scoring highly on the corpseometer are Messrs. Stafford, Harris, Webber and Curnow.

Fuck, where was I? Oh yes, ambition.

Thanks to cunts like apeloverage and frank my only goals these days are to badly draw cocks everywhere and pick people up on putting apostrophes in the right place.

Still, Thursday is giro day and I can get bladdered I suppose.
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 21:27, Reply)