Childhood AmbitionsHoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
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chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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JesusWhen I was about 7 I asked if I could play Jesus in the school play. (I'd heard bits about him and thought he was pretty cool, healing the dead - water to wine etc, etc.) Unfortunately it was the nativity play and a teacher pointed out to me that he was only a baby at this point. For some reason I got really angry with her and decided that I would become Jesus for real, just to show her!
It got to dinner time and I strutted up to the table, surrounded by 7 year old friends, held out my hand to turn the water into wine... Oops! I knocked the water jug all over, got told off, cried and never stayed school dinners ever again. Fortunately I never articulated my messianist desires and now work as a designer from home, where I am able to oppress my cats into believing I am the one true god of little plastic pouches filled with meaty goodness.
The end.
(This is my first post. "So what, stop banging on about it!". Ok, but I only mentioned it once.)
Edit...
Oh yeah, just remembered. My brother wanted to be Dogtanian so he could shaft Juliet. He'd write letters to himself pretending to be her and stick them through our letter box. I reminded him (and all his mates) about this for years, I feel a bit bad about it now.
(, Sat 31 Mar 2007, 3:19, Reply)
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