Childhood AmbitionsHoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
(
chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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Not what I wanted to be, but I was at one timea fairy queen. They lived in the air vent in my room and only I could see them. I was too young to handle the whole kingdon/queendom so I had royal advisors and everything.
Then my parents made me change rooms and share with my brother while they painted my room, and in the process they killed all my subjects! Bastards.
So after that I decided I wanted to be a fireman. Whenever someone corrected me with "firefighter" or "firewoman" I'd throw a tantrum and insist I would be a fireman.
Now I'm an "actress" that just got a job at McDonalds. Go figure.
EDIT: Can't believe I forgot this - At some point in primary school, we had to write a small essay on what we wanted to be. I wrote "I want to be a fireman or if i can't do that I want to be just a mum. Because mums don't do much." I then proceeded to hand this to my very pregnant teacher. My defense? "Mum doesn't do anything all day, she just sits around and watches TV."
That's when I got my first ever detention. I also realised that my mum seems to run the whole damn world not long after.
When I think of a length joke, I'll make sure to tell you.
(, Mon 2 Apr 2007, 10:45, Reply)
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