Childhood Ambitions
HoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
( , Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
HoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
( , Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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Another one.
For a brief period in the 80's, as some of you might remember, petrol stations started giving away gifts in a early loyalty scheme. The 'gifts' were normally a digital watch or whisky glass.
Although now the whisky glass would be far more appropriate, at the time digital watches were something of a desired object amoungst young chaps. These wern't good ones, with a game and stuff, these were rubbish. Just the time display and a button that lit it up in the dark, normally only once before fading to the point of uselessness.
They did, however, normally boast of being 'water proof to 100m'. Living in surburban London meant that the opportunities to test this were scarce. Didn't stop my chum and I wanting to find out. We pictured ourselves in some Bondesque underwater peril, possibly involving sharks and a bomb, where the only thing that would save us would be our weakly made Casio wrist gadgets.
One week, during a school swimming lesson we decided to put 'em to the test.
That's when I found out I have the swimming ability and lung capacity of a tangerine.
My first real 'trade discriptions' disapointment.
Length, depth? Certainly not 100m.
( , Mon 2 Apr 2007, 12:07, Reply)
For a brief period in the 80's, as some of you might remember, petrol stations started giving away gifts in a early loyalty scheme. The 'gifts' were normally a digital watch or whisky glass.
Although now the whisky glass would be far more appropriate, at the time digital watches were something of a desired object amoungst young chaps. These wern't good ones, with a game and stuff, these were rubbish. Just the time display and a button that lit it up in the dark, normally only once before fading to the point of uselessness.
They did, however, normally boast of being 'water proof to 100m'. Living in surburban London meant that the opportunities to test this were scarce. Didn't stop my chum and I wanting to find out. We pictured ourselves in some Bondesque underwater peril, possibly involving sharks and a bomb, where the only thing that would save us would be our weakly made Casio wrist gadgets.
One week, during a school swimming lesson we decided to put 'em to the test.
That's when I found out I have the swimming ability and lung capacity of a tangerine.
My first real 'trade discriptions' disapointment.
Length, depth? Certainly not 100m.
( , Mon 2 Apr 2007, 12:07, Reply)
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