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The most childish thing you've done as an adult
Davros' Grandad confesses: On visiting my ex-wife's house, I wiped my bum on the toothbrush belonging to the bloke she ran off with. At least, I thought it was his toothbrush.
( , Thu 17 Sep 2009, 14:36)
Davros' Grandad confesses: On visiting my ex-wife's house, I wiped my bum on the toothbrush belonging to the bloke she ran off with. At least, I thought it was his toothbrush.
( , Thu 17 Sep 2009, 14:36)
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Morning farts
I'm in the habit of doing loud farts after getting out of bed in the morning (Mudskipperess doesn't appreciate dutch oven pranks). A few days ago, I rattled out a particularly euphonious effort while making Daughter #2 (aged 6) her breakfast. "That disgusting, daddy" she said (she has a slight speech impediment).
I promptly blamed the budgie.
Far from finding that funny, Daughter got angrier. "No, it you! You do fart! Stop lying!!"
I responded by doing another fart.
"STOP IIIIIT"
I blamed the budgie again, and to compound the hilarity I wafted the smell over the Daughter and the caged bird.
"WASN'T HIM!!! IT WAS YOOOUUUU!!! STOP IIIITTT!"
By this time, Daughter is close to tears.
What's a loving father to do?
If you're me, a final, hideously rancid fart, this time while wordlessly pointing an accusing finger at the budgie.
It took a few minutes to regain my daughter's love after all this.
( , Fri 18 Sep 2009, 10:24, 9 replies)
I'm in the habit of doing loud farts after getting out of bed in the morning (Mudskipperess doesn't appreciate dutch oven pranks). A few days ago, I rattled out a particularly euphonious effort while making Daughter #2 (aged 6) her breakfast. "That disgusting, daddy" she said (she has a slight speech impediment).
I promptly blamed the budgie.
Far from finding that funny, Daughter got angrier. "No, it you! You do fart! Stop lying!!"
I responded by doing another fart.
"STOP IIIIIT"
I blamed the budgie again, and to compound the hilarity I wafted the smell over the Daughter and the caged bird.
"WASN'T HIM!!! IT WAS YOOOUUUU!!! STOP IIIITTT!"
By this time, Daughter is close to tears.
What's a loving father to do?
If you're me, a final, hideously rancid fart, this time while wordlessly pointing an accusing finger at the budgie.
It took a few minutes to regain my daughter's love after all this.
( , Fri 18 Sep 2009, 10:24, 9 replies)
Legend
I bow to your mildly abusive parenting ways and truly hope to be as good at knocking my kids sick as your good self, Sir! Keep up the Stirling work!
( , Fri 18 Sep 2009, 10:35, closed)
I bow to your mildly abusive parenting ways and truly hope to be as good at knocking my kids sick as your good self, Sir! Keep up the Stirling work!
( , Fri 18 Sep 2009, 10:35, closed)
Fuck me that was funny!
I got the tears and everything, right at my desk.. that's platinum right there my good man.
( , Fri 18 Sep 2009, 11:53, closed)
I got the tears and everything, right at my desk.. that's platinum right there my good man.
( , Fri 18 Sep 2009, 11:53, closed)
Just magnificent.
Any stressful situation can be diffused with a well-timed fart.
( , Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:41, closed)
Any stressful situation can be diffused with a well-timed fart.
( , Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:41, closed)
Might have to try this
at breakfast tomorrow with my daughter.... but I'm going to blame it on Grandad ;-)
( , Fri 18 Sep 2009, 17:29, closed)
at breakfast tomorrow with my daughter.... but I'm going to blame it on Grandad ;-)
( , Fri 18 Sep 2009, 17:29, closed)
The sound
upon my reading this, with a mouth full of fish-finger and ketchup sandwich was "waaaahhuhaaa". Well done! *clicks*
( , Mon 21 Sep 2009, 12:50, closed)
upon my reading this, with a mouth full of fish-finger and ketchup sandwich was "waaaahhuhaaa". Well done! *clicks*
( , Mon 21 Sep 2009, 12:50, closed)
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