Morning farts
I'm in the habit of doing loud farts after getting out of bed in the morning (Mudskipperess doesn't appreciate dutch oven pranks). A few days ago, I rattled out a particularly euphonious effort while making Daughter #2 (aged 6) her breakfast. "That disgusting, daddy" she said (she has a slight speech impediment).
I promptly blamed the budgie.
Far from finding that funny, Daughter got angrier. "No, it you! You do fart! Stop lying!!"
I responded by doing another fart.
"STOP IIIIIT"
I blamed the budgie again, and to compound the hilarity I wafted the smell over the Daughter and the caged bird.
"WASN'T HIM!!! IT WAS YOOOUUUU!!! STOP IIIITTT!"
By this time, Daughter is close to tears.
What's a loving father to do?
If you're me, a final, hideously rancid fart, this time while wordlessly pointing an accusing finger at the budgie.

It took a few minutes to regain my daughter's love after all this.
(mudskipper, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 10:24, 9 replies)

Legend
I bow to your mildly abusive parenting ways and truly hope to be as good at knocking my kids sick as your good self, Sir! Keep up the Stirling work!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 18 Sep 2009, 10:35, closed)

Genius
Top, top stuff.
( insignificantsnivellinglittleturd I Like Peas, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 10:57, closed)

Beautifully told
Have a click. Have several clicks.
(I grew it myself, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 10:59, closed)

Fuck me that was funny!
I got the tears and everything, right at my desk.. that's platinum right there my good man.
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Fri 18 Sep 2009, 11:53, closed)

Definitely worth it!

( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 18 Sep 2009, 14:29, closed)

Just magnificent.
Any stressful situation can be diffused with a well-timed fart.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:41, closed)

My son is 6
I do this everytime....





I dont even have a budgie.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 16:55, closed)

Might have to try this
at breakfast tomorrow with my daughter.... but I'm going to blame it on Grandad ;-)
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 17:29, closed)

The sound
upon my reading this, with a mouth full of fish-finger and ketchup sandwich was "waaaahhuhaaa". Well done! *clicks*
(Neddy Nedson is nice really, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 12:50, closed)