out with work
the other night i was drunk enough to write "rachelswipe and (name of obscenely cute colleague)" all circled in a big swirly heart on the toilet wall in eyeliner.

this gave me the following issues when i woke up the next day:

1 i don't think i've done that since i was about 13.

2 nobody should do that, ever.

3 it ruined my limited edition estee lauder smoky aubergine eyeliner.

4 i have quite distinctive handwriting, and lots of our colleagues drink in that pub, it being right next to the office and all.

5 fuck.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 17:46, 9 replies)

You never know...
This could break the ice with said colleague? Commiseration on the eyeliner, it's not often you find one you like....
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 17:54, closed)

i know. and this one was smoky AND a tiny bit sparkly. sigh.
hmm, he'd melt any amount of ice by having the most ridiculous eyelashes and the bluest eyes you've ever seen. but he thinks i'm a total moron, because every time he fixes me with them and says something (sadly something legal), he always has to ask me if i've heard him because i'm incapable of taking anything else in!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 18:16, closed)

(sadly something legal)
...such as...

Ms Swipe, are you aware that touching me in that manner can lead to a tribunal?

or...

Ms Swipe, stalking IS an offence!

[EDIT: I sympathise...really I do. hehehe.]
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 14:47, closed)

Smoky aubergine?
For rizzy?
( Bob Todd whee, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 18:24, closed)

Hold the phone.
Limited edition eyeliner?

Does it come with special features like a DVD? Cosmeticist's commentary perhaps?
(Kendal, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 18:41, closed)

No no no....
the only bonus features are the inflated pricetag and the boundless fury that comes with it when it runs out (or is scribbled out all over the shiny white tiles of the ladies toilets) and can't be replaced.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 18:51, closed)

my dear child
your eyes sound absolutely delicious, i can scarcely imagine how exquisite your clopper might be upon the tastebuds

thangyouvehmuch
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 0:24, closed)

:-)
*files away in the hope that it can be used someday - a quip like that is well worth the resulting slap!
( eXOBeX, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 1:29, closed)

smoky aubergine?
i love that one! have you tried marksies when they've got a sale on? sometimes you can get lucky and find one or two
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 1:38, closed)