I got a rather disturbing Xmas card the other day,
from fuck knows who.
Addressed to (christian name)Leafy. It had a key in and a poem.
Find your key,
Keep it in a special place,
Around your neck,
Or in a tiny space,
Enjoy the break and festive cheer,,
This key will unlock doors next year!
From "Digging Deep", with a picture of a heart and a spade.
Edit, also it had a first class stamp on, but hadn't been franked, whoever it was who delivered it, possibly did it by hand, and he managed to get through the security lodge. I think I may have an official stalker :(
Creepy man, creepy.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Sun 22 Dec 2013, 17:15, 11 replies)

Perhaps your other personality sent it to you.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 22 Dec 2013, 19:08, closed)

I wasn't aware I had one mate.
It's a bloody weird one, no idea who it's from.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Sun 22 Dec 2013, 20:15, closed)

It's the key to your mums chastity belt.
you're in there!
( Muns, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 8:53, closed)

That is odd
Let us know if you get a new year's present with a lock on it? If you dont it's doubly odd
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 10:07, closed)

Yeah will do.
It's either a windup or a nutter.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 10:28, closed)

oh rory
he's such a scamp
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 10:18, closed)

Fuck I hope not.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 10:29, closed)

To puncture this slightly with reality...
My parents have received tons of unfranked cards, around 50% of them have arrived like that. It's just the mid-privatisation Royal Mail being slack. Maybe the proles there are trying to demonstrate how much worse Royal Mail will be after it's finished being privatised.
(squigbobble existed, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 13:50, closed)

I haven't actually noticed re the franking.
I just clocked this one because I was looking for a postmark, to see where it was posted. It' s true re the card, I'm pretty baffled.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 17:20, closed)

the heart and spade bit
clearly indicates a stalker/serial killer crossover who wishes to bury your heart with his spade.


merry christmas.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 17:51, closed)

Chompy's on the pull again.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 29 Dec 2013, 10:03, closed)